We Lost Bentley

For some reason he hadn't been on the blog very much, and I don't know why. Bentley was a star, and I just never seemed to have the camera ready when he was giving us another wonderful moment. He was one of the sweetest, funniest, most affectionate little dogs we've ever had the privilege to know and love. And then, tragically, he was gone.

He died suddenly on Saturday, just six months after coming to us, and only three months after we were able to restore his vision.

Bentley was always the first one I would take out of a crate every morning, and whenever I would open the door to the dog room, he would be bouncing up and down in his crate, looking at me, jumping with excitement. I'd pull him out and set him down on the floor. Then he would dance a quick jig, run in circles across the floor, come back and jump up on me, then twirl and take off again in circles. It was just how he celebrated each new day. Alayne called him "our own little Fred Astaire."

So on Saturday morning when I opened the door, I instantly knew something was dreadfully wrong. He wasn't standing in his crate, waiting for me, bouncing up and down. He was laying on his side. Even before I got to his crate, I yelled down the hall to Alayne, "Something's wrong with Bentley!"

I reached in to pick him up, and there was no resistance. His body was limp. There was black diarrhea and red blood in the back of his crate. Bentley was breathing, and he'd blink, but that was the only sign of life in him.

In a couple of minutes I was in the van and rushing him to the emergency veterinary clinic in Littleton. Alayne had already called to let them know we were on the way.

On the road I called our internal medicine specialist in Burlington, Dr. Tanya Donovan, who was working that day in her clinic. She had just treated Bentley the previous week for the final stage of his heartworm treatment. I told her what had happened, and that he had been his usual happy, buoyant self the night before. I asked if there could be some connection to the heartworm treatment, but complications usually manifest themselves in respiratory issues and what we were seeing just didn't mesh.

Tanya told me to have the emergency vet call her and she would help in any way she could. Ideally I would have taken Bentley to Burlington, because Tanya's clinic is an emergency hospital as well, but that was two hours away and I didn't think he could make it that far without medical intervention.

At the Littleton clinic, I was just walking through the door with Bentley in a crate when the doctor, Dr. Christine Nau, rushed up and whisked us to a treatment station. Over the next eight hours she tried valiantly to save Bentley's life. Here's a photo I took with my phone shortly after getting there:

Her initial assessment was HGE, or hemorrhagic gastroenteritis, which we had experienced before with Widget. But his blood panel came back with his ALT, a key liver value, literally off the chart and unreadable. They ran another screen just to isolate the ALT, and it came back at 2,052 -- when the high end of normal was only 100. That was shocking, and couldn't be explained by simply HGE.

She had a hunch there was a blood problem, and then ran a more specialized test to determine his clotting factors, called a "coag" test. This came back also as off the charts and unreadable. There was simply an ">" at the end of the bar under "High." Now I knew Bentley was in real trouble.

During this entire time Dr. Nau and Tanya were in frequent contact. Dr. Nau told me that Bentley's case was exactly the kind where it really helps to have an internal medicine specialist involved to make sense of complex and sometimes confusing symptoms, so she was delighted to have Tanya to consult with throughout the day. And after one of the early calls, Tanya came back on the line to tell me, "You're in very good hands with Dr. Nau."  I knew it at that point. 

The coag test results suggested this might be disseminated intravascular coagulation, or DIC:

Disseminated intravascular coagulation (DIC) is a rare, life-threatening condition that prevents a person's blood from clotting normally. It may cause excessive clotting (thrombosis) or bleeding (hemorrhage) throughout the body and lead to shock, organ failure, and death.

In DIC, the body's natural ability to regulate blood clotting does not function properly. This causes the blood's clotting cells (platelets) to clump together and clog small blood vessels throughout the body. This excessive clotting damages organs, destroys blood cells, and depletes the supply of platelets and other clotting factors so that the blood is no longer able to clot normally. This often causes widespread bleeding, both internally and externally.

A simpler explanation for his symptoms would have been rat poison, but we don't have any here and never have, so that couldn't have been the cause.

Dr. Nau gave him a plasma transfusion over the course of the next four hours. Our plan was to get him stable and then transfer him to Tanya's clinic late Saturday, where she could take over his treatment. But when I returned later that afternoon to pick him up and head to Burlington, I watched him in the medical cage and could tell there wasn't any real improvement. He was breathing hard, which was a change that had occurred in the previous half-hour. He had continued to ooze bloody gunk from his rear end throughout the day, which suggested to Tanya and Dr. Nau that his intestines were sloughing off the lining -- presumably because clots were choking off the blood supply to his GI tract.

Dr. Nau was concerned about whether he was really stable enough to make the trip, and I had to agree. We called Tanya, who concurred and recommended leaving him there for the rest of the night and then re-assess in the morning.

We ran his coag test again, after the plasma transfusion, and the readings had improved -- still far too high, but it gave us a little hope. But in the next thirty minutes, his heart stopped ... then restarted after a couple of seconds. His breathing continued to be labored and rapid, an indication that his lungs might be also compromised by clots now.

At this stage Bentley was in the oxygen cage. Suddenly he tried to sit up, went rigid, and cried out. Then he sank back down.

That's when Dr. Nau and I decided it was time to let him go. In tears, I called Alayne to tell her what we needed to do. She said, crying, "Just tell him I love him so much." After getting off the phone, I reached out to stroke him and said in a quavering voice, "Honey, your mommy loves you so much."

I was bending over him, sobbing, with my face resting on his body, when he slipped away. I couldn't believe he was gone. We'd only had him in our lives for six months, but it felt like ten years. And he was just getting his new start in life. It ended far too soon.

On Sunday morning there was no bright-eyed boy dancing his jig across the floor. The room, full of dogs, felt empty. Because one adorable little fellow was missing.

Comments

[Betsy]

Whenever I check the blog and there is not a new post, I always feel nervous that something has happened to one of the animals. And this time, sad to say, it did. I am so very sorry for you having to go through another loss. It never gets any easier. I'm so glad you were with Bently at the end.

[Kim Johnston]

Dear Lord, this just breaks my heart into a million pieces.I am so very sorry for you loss.But in the sadness,I am also thankful that Bentley knew he was loved and cherished.I appreciate all that you did for him and that he was able to see for the last 3 months of his life. Thank you for educating me through your amazing blog.

[Diann Mayfield]

So sorry for your loss.

[ginette blais]

so sorry for your loss you have had more than any body could have in a life time. they are all angels looking over you for sure.

[Barb Ribinski]

I'm in tears ready about poor Bentley. He was such a happy guy and this was all so sudden. I know you did your best for him all the while he was there. His life was wonderful these last 6 months because of you guys. I'm so very sorry for your loss.

[Moon Rani]

Losing Bentley is a blow to you folks and to us readers even if we experience it only secondhand. I'm so sorry to read about this. I send all my sympathies!

[Jilla]

The tears won't stop. Bentley sounds like my Ziggy the way he dances and is so excited every moment, as if he's so grateful that someone loves him! Bentley even looks ike Ziggy? My heart breaks for you and your loss. So happy Bentley knew your love, and you his. Thanks for all you do! It can't always be easy, I know:(

[Sue Black]

So sorry that you must go through the sadness. Thank you so much for what you provide for valiant guys like Bentley - for all of the wonderful beings that find their way into your care.

[Marcia Nadeau]

I am so saddened to hear of his passing. What a cutie. I had DIC in 1999 from a perforated bowel and after the multiple organ dysfunction got gangrene in my feet and legs. You did the best for him by letting him go. <3

[Janet in Cambridge]

I am heartbroken for all of you at Bentley's sudden and untimely death. My thoughts are with you at this moment. Sei umarmt (Be hugged). That's all I can do from here.

[Sharon K.]

So sad.... You and Alayne provided more love and help in 6 short months than may have ever had that he appreciated with all his heart.

[Judy C.]

so sorry about the loss of this wonderful guy. am also glad he had you both until the end. you are wonderful people.

[Christy]

Broke my heart. Praying for you. He may not be there physically but his spirit dances around you and all you do for his brothers and sisters. <3

[Tara]

Bless u im so sorry for ur loss...bentley seemed like the best i will pray for u!

[Laura, Levi & Timmy]

I'm so sorry!! I'm having a hard time writing this as I am crying as well!! At least he had a WONDERFUL last 6 months with you and Alayne and knew how much he you both loved him!!! It doesn't seem to matter how long or short we have our pets, it still hits us hard!! Steve, I don't know how you write these kind of blogs!! You make us feel the pain you are feeling, like it was our own pet passing. Big hugs to you both!

[Kathy Hertzel]

My heart goes out to you, Alayne and the rest of the dogs who surely must be missing him. Just last week I had to make the decision to end my parakeet's life after 12 years when he suddenly began breathing very heavily and was accumulating fluid.

[Mary H./Washington state]

Steve and Alayne, my heart hurts after reading of your loss of Bentley. He had six good, and three brilliant, months full of love and goodness in the special way only RDF can deliver. I lost my 13 year old Pembroke Welsh Corgi three weeks ago. Severe medical issues followed him his entire life. The feeling when getting up in the morning and you look for your him to start the morning routine and he is not there. The hollow, hard, panic that it cannot be, not him, not now, not after overcoming so much.
I like to think besides his RDF family Bentley will spend some time with Kirby. Two darling little souls who stole our hearts, and then broke them with their passing.

[Catherine McAndrews]

It was God's will that little Bently live out his final days with you. He had love, friends, and the best health money could buy. God will grant you comfort in joyous memories of Bently, and bless you for the kindness you extend to so many animals. God Bless you all. You will meet Bently again on the Rainbow Bridge.

[Alysha]

This is so sad...You guys are incredible and it's so wonderful he had you.

[Brenda Brackmann]

I started crying reading your account of Bentley. It's so evident you love your animals. For that, Bentley was one lucky dog. If he had to be in pain and going to die, what better humans to have around him at such a time -- his caregivers and medical personnel -- to ease the end.

[Stephanie Slack]

Dear Steve and Alyane, Thank you for taking such good care of "our" boy. He knows he was loved!! Stephanie

[Kenna]

I am so sorry. :(

[toni ezell]

So Sorry to hear he had to leave but I'm forever grateful he had both of you to love him and take care of him... His last six months must have been heaven to him!!!

[Sandy Jensen]

So very sorry for your loss. Thank you for giving him a great life over the past six months. I know it is 'too quiet' at your house without him but he is now pain-free and dancing the jig in heaven!

[Diane McCornack]

I don't even know what to say to you guys. What a tragic end for this sweet little bundle of joy. I can only thank you for making his life so wonderful this last 6 months. Imagine if he hadn't gotten that time you you guys. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Run happy and health sweet Bentley

[Susan Larkin]

Wow. I am at work and tears have filled my eyes reading this. I just HATE that sweet little doggies have to die but I believe that God would NEVER let us love someone so much and then never let us see them again. I believe all my animals are on my front porch in Heaven, playing with my son and patiently waiting for me. I fully expect to meet Bentley someday. :)

[Anne in FL]

Steve & Alayne, My heart aches for you in the loss of Bentley. I am glad he had his last months on earth with you and was happy. You are such a blessing to so many.
Anne

[Colleen & Andre]

My heart is broken for you & Alayne. I honestly don't know how you do it but you do & I thank you for the love & the home you gave this sweet bundle of joy. He knew what true happiness & security was, he got to see the world because the gift of sight was provided to him by you all, he lived with love the last days of his life. And he was surrounded by it as you said good bye. Prayers of comfort for all of you.

[Rocky Johnson]

I am in tears, of course. I've been following Bentley all along and fell in love with him, would've wanted to bring him home with me. What was the underlying cause?

[Christopher D]

I am very sorry to see this. Like everyone else, I am also consoled by the thought that you both were able to be there for Bently, that he was able to be in a community of dogs as well as people, and that he could be there for you. It's a terrible thing to have to say, but I am also grateful that you at least had the opportunity to fight for his life, and didn't just find him already gone, with the possibility of helping taken away. My condolences.

[Linda]

So heartbroken for you. The heartache you have now is only superseded by the joy you shared with him, and that memory will always be there. God bless you Alayne and Steve.

[DeEtte]

I'm very saddened by your loss and know the pain you and Alayne are going through. Bentley was such a beautiful little dog and you both were privileged to have the time you did with each other.

Thank you Steve and Alayne for all the hard work, time and love you provide for these precious animals.

[Cindy Hudson]

So sorry for the loss of your beautiful little boy. May he rest in peace and greet you again someday on the other side. Thank you for loving him and giving him happiness during his time with you. I know Bently is at peace knowing he was very much loved. Much gratitude for all you both do for your charges. xoxo

[Jenn Blomback]

I am so sorry for your loss. he was a lucky dog to have made his way to Rolling Dog Farm.

[Phyllis Snow]

How sad! Thank you for all you did for Bently. Thank you for giving him sight, if only for three months. Thank you for trying to save him.
At least he had a few months of love and gentle care. I am sure he appreciated it.
Thank you for sharing the heartrending story of his last few hours.

[Tammy and Jay Mitts]

Steve and Aylene,

We are so sorry for your loss. Bentley was really a cutie and lucky to have you as his family.

Tammy and Jay

[Lynn (in Louisiana)]

Oh gee. This is such a sad story. Poor little guy. I re-read the two linked posts. Bentley sure fought thru a lot of medical stuff. At least he had a wonderful home with you and all his canine friends. And of course regaining his sight was wonderful. Gosh, this is so sad.

[Miranda Brooks]

I feel your pain. Thank you for being there for Bentley. Blessings to you and in memory of such a fine little fellow. Hugs, Miranda

[Tagati]

My heart is just breaking this morning. But, I'm so glad that Bentley was able to have the gift of sight and love for the time he was at RDF.

Hugs to you all and much gratitude for all that you do for other sentient beings.

[Celia Brown]

I don't see any comments yet, we're all crying...

[Ev]

I am so sorry for your loss. Once again, a lucky dog got to spend his last days with 2 people who truly know the meaning of love and commitment. Your dedication to this sweet little boy, and to your other sweet charges is inspiring. God bless you all. Bently is at peace knowing he was loved.