Yesterday we had to let Bo, one of our blind Appaloosas, go to the big green pastures in the sky. In the past two months he had suddenly started losing weight dramatically, and blood work showed his kidney and liver values were screwed up. A follow-up urinalysis revealed ketones, meaning he was now using up his own body fat reserves. Clearly, something else was competing for the nutrition he was getting -- and winning. Our equine vet, Dr. Steve Levine, sent Bo's test results to an internal medicine specialist at New England Equine Medical and Surgical Center in southern New Hampshire for consultation. The medical consensus was that he most likely had a tumor of some sort, though based on the lab work we didn't know specifically what kind. Whatever it was, it was aggressive.
The problems quickly mounted. His immune system became suppressed, his skin and hair deteriorated (flies took advantage of that situation and would cling to him no matter how much fly spray we applied, even while leaving the other horses alone), and -- alarmingly -- we could actually hear his bones creak when he turned his neck or walked. Alayne described him as "brittle," which was probably the most apt way to put it.
After weeks of trying to turn things around, we sadly realized it was time to let him go, and yesterday morning Dr. Levine came out to euthanize him. Our neighbor and friend, Jim D., had already come over with his excavator to dig a grave.
In the photo above, you can see just how thin Bo was, with his ribs sticking out. Kate walked Bo's girlfriend blind Rosie out to keep him company right up until the end.
In this photo Dr. Levine is beginning to inject the euthanasia solution while I hold Bo:
Bo always loved gobbling the apples that fell from the trees around the horse paddocks, so I scooped up a few before we set out for the gravesite and gave him some as a final treat just before Dr. Levine began the procedure. I'd like to think that Bo's very last sensation was the taste of those apples in his mouth.
In a ritual that our equine vet in Montana, Dr. Erin Taylor, had encouraged us to adopt, after Bo died we brought Rosie over to be close to him and sniff his body. Erin believed, and we think she's right, that it helps bring closure for these animals who become bonded with one another. Rather than wonder why Bo suddenly disappeared and never came back, Rosie could smell his prone body and know that he was gone:
Earlier, just before that shot, Rosie had been gently running her muzzle over Bo's ribs, gently nibbling at his hair and feeling his body. Then she raised her head and sniffed and sniffed some more. In all, maybe only a minute or two elapsed, but I could tell she knew he had died ... and she was ready to move on. We had noticed in the past week that she was responding to him, and treating him, differently, and we figured she must have known something was very wrong with him.
Kate and I walked Rosie back down to the horse paddocks and turned her out with blind Bridger and blind Nikki. She found them, put her head down, and settled in to graze.
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Thank you for sharing. This brought tears to my eyes, for I have had to put down two dogs and though years have passed, I still cry when I remember it.
Posted by: Debbie Bolduc | August 04, 2011 at 08:57 PM
I echo Leah's words with tears steaming down my face. You give the animals such dignity. Thank you Steve, Alayne and Kate!
Posted by: Shirley * James/Portland, OR | August 04, 2011 at 08:46 PM
So sad and yet so thoughtful. Rosie deserved to know what happened to her companion. It's only fair. Bo, you were loved by person and horse alike. And you lived a wonderful life at RDF. RIP, dearest boy. I kiss your little nose.
Posted by: Janet in Cambridgehttp://www.typepad.com/site/blogs/6a00d83451c9f669e200d83451c9ff69e2/comment/6a00d83451c9f669e2015390703d95970b/edit?updated=1 | August 04, 2011 at 08:43 PM
I could never understand why people say that animals have only instinct, and do not have intelligence and feelings. Such situations are always painful, but there is a "tragic beauty" when we witness events such as Rosie's reaction. So sorry... :( :( :(
Posted by: Mauro Salles | August 04, 2011 at 08:32 PM
Steve, I'm SO sorry about Bo! It's never an easy decision to make, but you & Alayne always make sure all of your animals have the best medical care & quality of life, right up until the end. Nobody can ask for more than that! Thanks for all you do for our furry friends!
Posted by: Cassie Betz | August 04, 2011 at 07:21 PM
Thank you for sharing. It is never easy. And, thank you for what you do!
Posted by: Katie Spyke | August 04, 2011 at 07:17 PM
I'm sorry to hear about Bo. What a kind, sweet, gentle way to escort him on his journey.
Posted by: Leah | August 04, 2011 at 07:14 PM
Always hard to let them go. I had to euthanase my last two horses together 15 yrs ago. Gone but never forgotten.
Posted by: Shelagh | August 04, 2011 at 07:10 PM
I am so sorry for your loss. I know from personal experience that it never gets easier, even when you know it's for the best. I respect you for being willing and able to make these decisions that, while difficult, are in the animal's best interest. I appreciate you putting your hearts out there again and again to care for these beautiful animals that a lot of people would consider worthless. Though only one at a time, I have had several animals with various disabilities and can't imagine having lived without them and the joy they bring. Thank you for doing what you do!
Posted by: Rhonda | August 04, 2011 at 07:03 PM
Please accept my sympathies on Bo's death. It's never an easy decision to put an animal down, but you did it with love, dignity and kindness, which is all anyone could ask, really.
Posted by: Moon Rani | August 04, 2011 at 07:00 PM
Thank you for giving us a loving view of this very sad and difficult day.
Posted by: Linda | August 04, 2011 at 06:54 PM
God bless you guys. Those of us who have pets eventually go thru the hard decision that you 2 go through so often because of the number of animal friends you care for. I am sure it never gets easy. Thankfully you have learned ways to help their animal friends cope with their loss. Once again, I am in awe of your dedication and perserverence. You are 2 of my heros.
Posted by: Ev | August 04, 2011 at 06:52 PM
So Sad. We recently lost our best friend Rudy to cancer. Its hard to let them go but when its time, you just have face it and do what is right.
Posted by: John | August 04, 2011 at 06:42 PM
Poor Bo, but what a lovely life you enabled him to have. The world is a better place for having Rolling Dog Ranch in it :) x
Posted by: Carla | August 04, 2011 at 06:38 PM
I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't know how long Bo was with you, but however long it was, he had a good loving place to live.
RIP Bo, you beautiful boy.
Posted by: Micki Liebman | August 04, 2011 at 06:37 PM
I hate to hear about poor Bo, but at least he was with caring, loving people who knew when the time was right to let him go. And I'm so glad Rosie got to say her goodbyes.
Posted by: Ashley | August 04, 2011 at 06:28 PM