Our little survivor made it as far as he could go. And today his body finally gave out. It happened so fast I didn't even have a chance to say goodbye.
Yesterday Teddy had been his usual happy self. He was eager for his dinner, and had been barking at Alayne in the kitchen to hurry up with the feeding. Last night he had been breathing a little heavier than normal, but nothing we hadn't seen before -- especially on a warm evening. Yet just to make sure he didn't have a fever, we took his temperature and it was normal at 101 (38.3 C). By the time we put him up for the night, his breathing had subsided.
But this morning when we got up Teddy had very labored breathing, with his mouth open and head pointed up. This was the same thing that sent him back to the hospital almost a month ago to the day. After a week there, our vets could find nothing in the imaging or lab results to explain the breathing difficulty. He quickly recovered from it and came home in great shape.
Still, we were concerned by a repeat episode, so Alayne and I tested his glucose level and it was at 283 -- pretty low for Teddy. But his temperature was now 98.9 (37.1 C), too low for comfort given the other signs we were seeing. Just to make sure there wasn't a problem with the thermometer, a few minutes later we took it again ... and it had dropped to 98.6. Uh oh.
I called our clinic's emergency number, and our vet, Dr. Brenda Culver, soon called back. Alayne was already preparing to rush Teddy to the clinic, and I told Brenda that Alayne would call her as soon as she got over MacDonald Pass and near Helena so she'd know when to meet her at the clinic.
I took Teddy outside so he could pee while I went to get the truck ready. When I got back to the house, Teddy was sitting up next to the wall of the house, soaking in the early morning sun, but panting heavily. I picked him up and started carrying him out to the truck. About halfway there, his body went rigid, his front legs paddled furiously, and then his head flopped over to the side. I dropped to my knees on the drive to cradle him, and yelled to Alayne to hurry outside.
Teddy's body lay limp in my hands, and I thought we had lost him. Then, to my astonishment, he regained consciousness. He picked his head up and put his legs down. I set him on the ground and he stood on all fours, as if nothing had happened. At that point Alayne came up, and I said, "I thought he had died but he came back. We're running out of time."
We rushed over to the truck parked in the vehicle shed, but as we got there, he went limp in my hands again and his head fell over. I cradled him once more, but this time he didn't bounce back. I got down on my knees and held him in my arms. I told Alayne, "We've lost him." She started crying. "Oh, Teddy, no! Please!" She scooped him up so she could hold him against her chest. A few seconds later, as she was holding him, she said, "Wait! I can hear him breathing!" And sure enough, he had just started to breathe again. We were incredulous. He was still fighting.
She threw her things in the front seat of the truck while I wrapped him in blankets and laid him in the back seat. A minute later, there was a cloud of dust as Alayne raced down the road towards Highway 200.
I called Brenda to let her know what had happened so she could be prepared.
I headed out to the barns to do morning chores. About 20 minutes later the phone rang. It was Alayne calling from the truck. She said, "We lost him about Helmville. He just stopped breathing altogether." (Helmville is a little town like Ovando, south of us on the way to Helena.) Alayne had kept reaching into the back seat to check on Teddy, and that's when she realized she could no longer feel or hear him breathing.
We decided there and then to have her continue on to Helena so Brenda could do a necropsy -- an autopsy -- to find out what happened.
Brenda did the necropsy this afternoon and emailed me with her findings.
Brenda said she "found very little on the gross level to explain his sudden death. I have submitted multiple tissue samples for histopathology which will give us more definitive answers. On gross necropsy (those changes visible to the naked eye), the liver appeared enlarged and the pancreas was discolored...changes consistent with diabetes and not necessarily specific explanations for his death this morning."
She thought the series of events "can be consistent with a thromboembolic accident ('stroke'). The histopathology will help to determine if this is the possible cause of death as well as any other pathologies involved."
Brenda said we should have the full necropsy report by the end of this week, and she'll let us know if the results come in sooner. For background she had written, "In order to get the necessary tissue samples, I used routine surgical approaches and delicate tissue handling for optimal histopathology results. His body was treated with the utmost respect while performing this procedure."
At the clinic, Brenda had told Alayne that diabetes takes a systemic toll on the body, and the older the patient is, the harder it is on them. She said, "We know he was already old, but he may have been even older than we thought." In which case, she said, "his little body could have just worn out."
Still, it seems so danged unfair. Here he went for so long with untreated diabetes, which blinded him; then he was nearly starved to death; and finally he was dumped out on a curb to fend for himself -- only to be rescued and brought to us, where he was able to get the best possible medical care and as much love as he could handle. We had Teddy for just over 10 weeks -- and four of those he spent in the hospital, where he underwent major bladder and gallbladder surgery.
I guess that's what seems so unfair ... late in life, his luck finally changed, but he didn't get to enjoy it for more than a few weeks. And he had been doing so well recently! He was spunky and bossy and loved his new life here.
Teddy had a particular attachment to me, and followed me around the house so he could stay close. He loved nothing more than lying on my lap. On those evenings when I had time to sit in the recliner in the living room to read, Teddy would come over, stand up on his hind feet, put his front paws on the edge of the chair, and look at me with this quizzical expression that said, "Well? Here I am!" I'd reach down and pull him up so he could sit with me while I read. When I was working in the office, he'd come in to sleep on one of the beds in here. Often he'd come over to the desk chair, stand up on his hind feet, and demand to be picked up and held. It didn't matter to him whether it was a recliner or desk chair, all he knew was that I was sitting down ... and that meant my lap was available.
I kept thinking I needed to get a photo of his scruffy little face appearing over the edge of my chair ... but I never did.
So just over two months was all we got with him. Bless his little heart.
We love you, Teddy. We miss you already.
Thank you for providing sweet Teddy with 10 weeks of love. You did everything possible to give him a good life and he was able to enjoy his last weeks with you. As hard as it is to lose these little fighters after all you had done for him, remember him with joy for the precious moments he shared with you. I am in tears too, he reminded me so much of my Granny girl..another scruffy little stray dog, half blind and deaf who we had for too short a time.
Posted by: Barb | September 28, 2009 at 12:10 AM
Please accept our condolences--whatever Teddy lacked in the time before his move to RDR, his excellent, although short, life at the Ranch surely made up for some of what he had suffered. To Steve--our blind boy Mojo is doing very well and has established himself in our home and our hearts. Teddy's attachment to you suggests that someone, sometime, in his past did care for him; he was fortunate to find his final home with people who loved him.
Posted by: Jan, Jim, Buffy and Mojo | September 27, 2009 at 11:43 PM
Steve and Alayne, I am so very sorry. You had the priviledge of giving Teddy 10 weeks of unconditional love and devotion.
They say when you die and go to heaven, all the dogs and cats you’ve ever had in your life come running to meet you. Teddy will be one of many. Bless his little scruffy heart. RIP sweet Teddy.
Posted by: Doe George | September 27, 2009 at 11:27 PM
I am so sorry, Steve and Alayne. He was so darn adorable and he was a little fighter. He experienced love, warmth and a great lap in his short time with you. I know nothing we can say can help the hurt. I just know that this little guy experienced the good things with you both and that is so important -and he knew he was where he should be at last. He gave love back and that is what is so wonderful with our animals-they love unconditionally.
Blessings to you both.
Posted by: Jennie Wiseman | September 27, 2009 at 10:13 PM
I'm so sorry for your loss. But without you, he would have had a much sadder, harder end. With you, he was loved and cared for, filled with joy to have found what turned out to be his 'forever' home.
I'm crying with you.
Posted by: Mary | September 27, 2009 at 10:11 PM
I am so sorry to read of Teddy's passing. You two must be devastated. Your blog certainly was written with true heart wrenching emotion.
No two people, and no rescue group, could have been any more loving and caring than you.
Teddy was one lucky guy to have spent his last few months knowing that he was loved and cared for.
Hang in there.
Ev
Posted by: Ev | September 27, 2009 at 10:07 PM
I am so thankful for every moment Teddy had with you at the ranch.
Hugs and prayers for you with this terrible loss. Your online friends will miss you too.
Posted by: Connie in Spokane | September 27, 2009 at 09:52 PM
I'm so incredibly sorry.
Posted by: Darcie | September 27, 2009 at 09:30 PM
I too had fallen in love with Teddy from the first time I had read his story.....I am so saddened to hear of him passing, thank you for giving him a life without pain, if only for his short final weeks....I'm sure Teddy thanks you too....
Posted by: Jolene | September 27, 2009 at 09:29 PM
Oh Teddy Teddy Teddy!!!
I am devastated to read of his passing!! The only consolation is he was so loved at the end.
RIP Teddy my sweet boy
Posted by: Maree in NZ | September 27, 2009 at 09:07 PM
How sad it is to hear of this news!For all that you do(Steve and Alayne)we are all thankful.There is a poem that is called "JUST A DOG" it really warms a persons heart,some of can get more compassion and trust from our furry friends, than we can from some humans. Rest in peace little Teddy we all know your last days were Great and you were loved unconditionally even if it was for a short period of time.Stars are shinning BRIGHT 'cause Teddy's looking down on all of us animal lovers.
Posted by: Kathy and Harley | September 27, 2009 at 08:57 PM
How devastating. I, like all the other RDR fans, am stunned by Teddy's sudden death, especially since you've been keeping such a close eye on him.
Unfair is an understatement! This one made me cry. This one and Oscar.
I'm very curious to know the results of his autopsy. Maybe it will help the next time you see these strange symptoms whose disease doesn't show up on tests.
My condolences.
Posted by: Kelly Luchtman | September 27, 2009 at 08:55 PM
Teddy died happy because of Rolling Dog Ranch. Thank you, Steve and Alayne, for being so brave and strong.
I think you may have your "Most Touching Story" submission.
RIP Mr. Teddy; it was indeed my pleasure to have known you.
Posted by: Lynn (in Louisiana) | September 27, 2009 at 08:38 PM
Another angel was needed in heaven and Teddy was definitely an angel!
Thank you for giving him a wonderful 10 weeks!
Posted by: Toni | September 27, 2009 at 08:29 PM
While I write this, I am crying with you....it hurts to lose a beloved little friend. But my heart is grateful that he had so much love from both of you, and I know he was a happy little guy while he was at RDR. Thanks for taking such good care of him.
Posted by: Leila from Washington | September 27, 2009 at 08:29 PM
Oh, no. Such sad news. Rest in peace Teddy.
Posted by: Mick | September 27, 2009 at 08:15 PM
I was so shocked to read this! Teddy seemed to be doing so much better at the ranch with you...
It does seem unfair, both to Teddy and to you two who give so much of your hearts.
I suppose it was meant to be; his little body was just so beat up and worn out. I think that you were able to give him some much deserved quality time while he was with you. Surely he would have passed much sooner if he hadn't found his way to the ranch.
There is much comfort to be had in remembering how much he liked you and what a better quality of life he had at the end, even if it was for a short time.
Keep the memory of him in your lap. He was in a loving home and he knew it. Those lap visits were his way of thanking you...
Bless you both. My heart goes out to you tonight.
Posted by: Gena | September 27, 2009 at 08:12 PM
This is so sad. Poor little Teddy. He had been through so much before coming to RDR. YOU guys gave him a tremendous amount of love which he badly needed. He's a little fuzzy angel dog looking down on RDR from above and thanking you for his special time with people that truly cared and made a difference in his life.
Posted by: Penny Heinrich | September 27, 2009 at 08:00 PM
Teddy was a feisty little gut who put up a good fight. He found a comfy lap and had two great months. He appriates the chance you gave him.
Posted by: Bob | September 27, 2009 at 07:58 PM
While I'm not entirely surprised considering his diabestes, I am stunned and so saddened by Teddy's death. It still comes as a great shock. I can't and don't want to believe it.
Teddy was a very special little creature, full of spunk with personality to spare.
Please, Steve and Alayne, give yourselves FULL CREDIT for giving Teddy the very very best days of his life. He loved you both dearly and you know it. Whether it's a day, a week, or a month, any time you can give a little sweet soul, like Teddy, extra good days, it's worth it. It is unfair that there couldn't be more of them, but it's worth it.
Teddy, I kiss your sweet face. RIP, sweetest boy.
Posted by: Janet in Cambridge | September 27, 2009 at 07:52 PM
Oh dang dang dang dang dang.
I am so sorry you guys. It's just another one of those cases where you know you did the absolute best that anyone could have.
Steve, so sorry for the loss of your minion.
Posted by: Vickie | September 27, 2009 at 07:50 PM
Dear Alayne and Steve, I too am sitting here with tears in my eyes for Teddy. As you may remember this little guy grabbed my heart right away. I'vd always been a easy mark for scruffy little dogs,and he was no exception. Thank you both for giving this little guy the love he deserved to have all his life and finally found with you and the ranch. Once again I thank you for all you do for the wonderful animals at the Rolling Dog Ranch. I too miss him already. Diane Bowlin
Posted by: Diane Bowlin | September 27, 2009 at 07:35 PM
Oh I'm so sorry for you. This is just tragic, too much like little Sammy. The one comfort I can find is that Teddy was finally able to experience the love and care that all pets should experience. Thank you so much for giving him your love.
Bless your hearts.
Posted by: Lynne Parker | September 27, 2009 at 07:18 PM
Losing Teddy brings tears to my eyes -- not only for him but for you and Alayne too. You provided him with so much love and attention for his final days. Thanks for all you do. God bless Teddy and both of you.
Posted by: Marianne Hubach | September 27, 2009 at 07:15 PM
And it is so true-better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. Go in peace, sweet Teddy.
Posted by: Carolyn Kupferschmid | September 27, 2009 at 06:55 PM
Such a sweet little soul. I'm glad at least his last days were full of love. Lots of people will cry form him tonight.
Jean
Posted by: Jean Leinhauser | September 27, 2009 at 06:47 PM
WOW!!! This one really stinks! They all stink, but this one hits the heart a little harder than most. I've been going to work earlier than normal to cast extra votes for the contest as I know you guys have had so many vet bills, especially as of late. RIP, little guy, and know that you were not only loved by Steve and Alayne, but by EVERYONE who loves and supports the ranch and the tremendous work they do there. He might not have had the best life, but he sure had a GREAT 2 months at the end. I'm hoping he's frolicking with my other boy, Roy the mule from RDR, across the Bridge. Love, hugs, and tears from Cincinnati-Carolyn
Posted by: Carolyn Kupferschmid | September 27, 2009 at 06:47 PM
My condolences to you, Steve and Alayne. As is always the case at Rolling Dog Ranch, when an animal leaves this world, he or she had known love.
Posted by: Linda Metzger | September 27, 2009 at 06:25 PM
Oh how awful! Sweet Teddy, we miss you, even though we never met you. At least your last few weeks were filled with love and dignity, which you so richly deserved. I wish desperately you would have had more time at RDR.
Steve and Alayne, I am so very sorry, and can't imagine how frustrated and saddened you must be. I hope you are comforted knowing that you did all you could, and brought great sunshine for at least a few weeks to a one of God's creature who had most likely not known any before. For that, I am sure he was thankful, and loved you back tenfold.
Posted by: Heidi, Emmett, and Moxie | September 27, 2009 at 06:24 PM