Our little survivor made it as far as he could go. And today his body finally gave out. It happened so fast I didn't even have a chance to say goodbye.
Yesterday Teddy had been his usual happy self. He was eager for his dinner, and had been barking at Alayne in the kitchen to hurry up with the feeding. Last night he had been breathing a little heavier than normal, but nothing we hadn't seen before -- especially on a warm evening. Yet just to make sure he didn't have a fever, we took his temperature and it was normal at 101 (38.3 C). By the time we put him up for the night, his breathing had subsided.
But this morning when we got up Teddy had very labored breathing, with his mouth open and head pointed up. This was the same thing that sent him back to the hospital almost a month ago to the day. After a week there, our vets could find nothing in the imaging or lab results to explain the breathing difficulty. He quickly recovered from it and came home in great shape.
Still, we were concerned by a repeat episode, so Alayne and I tested his glucose level and it was at 283 -- pretty low for Teddy. But his temperature was now 98.9 (37.1 C), too low for comfort given the other signs we were seeing. Just to make sure there wasn't a problem with the thermometer, a few minutes later we took it again ... and it had dropped to 98.6. Uh oh.
I called our clinic's emergency number, and our vet, Dr. Brenda Culver, soon called back. Alayne was already preparing to rush Teddy to the clinic, and I told Brenda that Alayne would call her as soon as she got over MacDonald Pass and near Helena so she'd know when to meet her at the clinic.
I took Teddy outside so he could pee while I went to get the truck ready. When I got back to the house, Teddy was sitting up next to the wall of the house, soaking in the early morning sun, but panting heavily. I picked him up and started carrying him out to the truck. About halfway there, his body went rigid, his front legs paddled furiously, and then his head flopped over to the side. I dropped to my knees on the drive to cradle him, and yelled to Alayne to hurry outside.
Teddy's body lay limp in my hands, and I thought we had lost him. Then, to my astonishment, he regained consciousness. He picked his head up and put his legs down. I set him on the ground and he stood on all fours, as if nothing had happened. At that point Alayne came up, and I said, "I thought he had died but he came back. We're running out of time."
We rushed over to the truck parked in the vehicle shed, but as we got there, he went limp in my hands again and his head fell over. I cradled him once more, but this time he didn't bounce back. I got down on my knees and held him in my arms. I told Alayne, "We've lost him." She started crying. "Oh, Teddy, no! Please!" She scooped him up so she could hold him against her chest. A few seconds later, as she was holding him, she said, "Wait! I can hear him breathing!" And sure enough, he had just started to breathe again. We were incredulous. He was still fighting.
She threw her things in the front seat of the truck while I wrapped him in blankets and laid him in the back seat. A minute later, there was a cloud of dust as Alayne raced down the road towards Highway 200.
I called Brenda to let her know what had happened so she could be prepared.
I headed out to the barns to do morning chores. About 20 minutes later the phone rang. It was Alayne calling from the truck. She said, "We lost him about Helmville. He just stopped breathing altogether." (Helmville is a little town like Ovando, south of us on the way to Helena.) Alayne had kept reaching into the back seat to check on Teddy, and that's when she realized she could no longer feel or hear him breathing.
We decided there and then to have her continue on to Helena so Brenda could do a necropsy -- an autopsy -- to find out what happened.
Brenda did the necropsy this afternoon and emailed me with her findings.
Brenda said she "found very little on the gross level to explain his sudden death. I have submitted multiple tissue samples for histopathology which will give us more definitive answers. On gross necropsy (those changes visible to the naked eye), the liver appeared enlarged and the pancreas was discolored...changes consistent with diabetes and not necessarily specific explanations for his death this morning."
She thought the series of events "can be consistent with a thromboembolic accident ('stroke'). The histopathology will help to determine if this is the possible cause of death as well as any other pathologies involved."
Brenda said we should have the full necropsy report by the end of this week, and she'll let us know if the results come in sooner. For background she had written, "In order to get the necessary tissue samples, I used routine surgical approaches and delicate tissue handling for optimal histopathology results. His body was treated with the utmost respect while performing this procedure."
At the clinic, Brenda had told Alayne that diabetes takes a systemic toll on the body, and the older the patient is, the harder it is on them. She said, "We know he was already old, but he may have been even older than we thought." In which case, she said, "his little body could have just worn out."
Still, it seems so danged unfair. Here he went for so long with untreated diabetes, which blinded him; then he was nearly starved to death; and finally he was dumped out on a curb to fend for himself -- only to be rescued and brought to us, where he was able to get the best possible medical care and as much love as he could handle. We had Teddy for just over 10 weeks -- and four of those he spent in the hospital, where he underwent major bladder and gallbladder surgery.
I guess that's what seems so unfair ... late in life, his luck finally changed, but he didn't get to enjoy it for more than a few weeks. And he had been doing so well recently! He was spunky and bossy and loved his new life here.
Teddy had a particular attachment to me, and followed me around the house so he could stay close. He loved nothing more than lying on my lap. On those evenings when I had time to sit in the recliner in the living room to read, Teddy would come over, stand up on his hind feet, put his front paws on the edge of the chair, and look at me with this quizzical expression that said, "Well? Here I am!" I'd reach down and pull him up so he could sit with me while I read. When I was working in the office, he'd come in to sleep on one of the beds in here. Often he'd come over to the desk chair, stand up on his hind feet, and demand to be picked up and held. It didn't matter to him whether it was a recliner or desk chair, all he knew was that I was sitting down ... and that meant my lap was available.
I kept thinking I needed to get a photo of his scruffy little face appearing over the edge of my chair ... but I never did.
So just over two months was all we got with him. Bless his little heart.
We love you, Teddy. We miss you already.
Thank you for your loving heart and caring for this beautiful little guy. If only the world was filled with folks like you. Teddy did feel love the last days of his life thank you so much for giving that to him.
Posted by: John | November 10, 2009 at 12:34 AM
Teddy was lucky to have angels like you in his final days.
Posted by: Katharine Ferguson | October 27, 2009 at 10:07 AM
What a precious little soul. I'm so sorry you lost him. What a blessing that his last days were full of joy and that he was in the company of great love. Thank you for all you do!
Posted by: Michelle Moss | October 22, 2009 at 12:31 PM
I was so sad to read this post. Just to let you know I am clicking every day for the Rolling Dog ranch for you to win and continue the great work that you do. I also have my family doing the same.
God bless you both.
Posted by: Carol | October 16, 2009 at 11:32 AM
It is always sad when you lose one, such a cute guy. I am so glad Rolling Dog Ranch is here, you save so many and give them a second chance.
Posted by: Rita Boatright | October 16, 2009 at 09:36 AM
Abe Lincoln said to the effect that it is not the years in life that matter, but the life in the years. You gave Teddy that life in his short stay. God bless you for all you do and bless Teddy for what he shared with you and us.
Posted by: Mark | October 16, 2009 at 09:01 AM
Steve & Alayne,
I'm still crying about the loss of Teddy. Thank goodness there are people like you. I know it part of life but dog-gone you hate to see them go. Cdub won't read this story cause he's more emotional than me!
Posted by: Kate & Cdub Smith | October 15, 2009 at 04:16 PM
I'm so very sorry to hear about Teddy. I have a little Pomeranian that was just recently diagnosed with diabetes and has gone blind within 6 weeks of the diagnoses. I am very worried about our little guy and hope and pray that he will be with us for a long time.
Posted by: Jeanne Evensen | October 15, 2009 at 03:31 PM
Teddy was sent to be with you so that his last days could be lived with love and abundance. I firmly believe that there are powers that watch over the lost and the helpless, and they sent this little dog to be with you. You gave Teddy exactly what he was meant to have. If only all of us could be that lucky. Cherish his memory and try not to be sad. Bless you.
Posted by: Jill | October 15, 2009 at 01:53 PM
I'm very sorry about Teddy. You gave him good final weeks, and that counts for a lot. The only upshot is that he is no longer suffering. I'm sorry you had to go through this.
Posted by: Adele | October 15, 2009 at 01:25 PM
I just got back from vacation to find this sad news. I was pulling for Teddy, his little face was like morning sunshine, I am wiping away tears but am so thankful for you guys to show him more love than he ever knew before he went.
Posted by: Lucia | October 02, 2009 at 05:03 PM
Thank God that Teddy had you for the short time he did. He was finally able to be loved and taken care of the way God would have wanted. What a wonderful but short life you gave him. He knew he was loved, how could he not. You both are amazing and wonderful people. God Bless little Teddy and you.
Posted by: Debra Ekblom | October 01, 2009 at 07:08 PM
At least little Teddy felt wanted, loved, and nourished in his last days. I am very sorry for the loss of Teddy.
Posted by: Jennifer Jackson | September 30, 2009 at 10:53 PM
Steve and Alayne,
Through your blog we laugh with you, we worry with you and today we cry with you.
God Bless RDR, humans and furry friends alike.
Posted by: Kelsie | September 30, 2009 at 07:29 PM
Just back from a conference and catching up with Rolling Dog. There is little I can add to all that has been said -- except that I too am sorry Teddy's Golden Days didn't last longer. At least he died in your care and not on the street. God bless.
Posted by: Helen R | September 30, 2009 at 11:18 AM
Steve and Alyane: It has taken me a few days to repond to Teddy's death. The first time I saw this little guy's picture, I fell in love with him. My heart broke when I read the news of his passing. I went home and hugged and loved on my pups. I thank you for providing Teddy a good life until the end. God Bless you and all creatures great and small.
Posted by: Debbie B. | September 30, 2009 at 07:40 AM
I am so sorry to read this post. If not for you, Teddy would not have lived the last 10 weeks with unconditional love & the very best vet care possible. He knew he was dearly loved & adored by all the attention and affection that you & Alayne gave to him. I know that you've both worked so hard to get his meds right & he knew all the best was being done just for him. You gave him the absolute best of everything & know that you made his last days his finest.
With deepest sympathy & hugs,
ginger, Tobias & Tlingit
Thank you for ALL that you continue to do for all the animals in your care.
Posted by: ginger | September 30, 2009 at 01:42 AM
I am so sad to hear about Teddys loss, I am glad that at least his last few months were happily spent at the sanctuary being cared for and loved despite his hard life and the surgeries he had gone through. Teddy was very lucky to have people like you and Alayne. God bless people like you and Rest in peace Teddy.
Posted by: Whitney | September 30, 2009 at 12:12 AM
I am so very very sorry about Teddy....I can't stop crying. At least you gave him a wonderful life at the end, even if it was much too short....thank you for that. What a little sweetheart.
Posted by: Benita | September 29, 2009 at 11:23 PM
Despite his rough life and especially the rough way he was treated in his last years- he spent the best two months of his life with you. He couldn't have wished for more and no one else could have fit him better. The world will be hard pressed to find better people than you two (Steve and Alayne). You inspire us to give more (in any way we can)- even if it is just to make a difference for a short amount of time. There is no price to what that is worth.
We'll miss you Teddy.
Posted by: Heather Reeves & Timmy | September 29, 2009 at 08:07 PM
Steve and Alayne, I was out of town and just now saw the posting about little Teddy. My heart breaks for you. Seeing the large number of comments you've received, Teddy broke a lot of hearts.
He had a hard, difficult life and only just at the end, did he find the peace and love he always deserved. In your posting Steve, you commented how felt that was so unfair.
Teddy wasn't with you long. But, I've always believed that as your soul flies away on angel wings, you're surrounded by all the love people send your way. And in that sense, Teddy's spirit will never be lost or alone again. But instead, will always be enveloped in the love of so many people who were touched by his story.
Take care little one. We all miss you.
Posted by: Peggy | September 29, 2009 at 06:50 PM
my tears this morning are bittersweet for dear Teddy. No one can change what he went threw, but it's important to remember his last days were filled with bliss. He passed with love in his heart and he left beautiful love to treasure.
Posted by: Rachael | September 29, 2009 at 10:57 AM
I am so so sad. I was looking forward to the adventures of Teddy. I know his last days were happy ones with you, Steve and Alayne. I only wish there had been more of them. I know he is at the bridge, though, happy and healthy. Love you Teddy!
Posted by: Lesa | September 29, 2009 at 01:40 AM
We all know that dogs live in the here and now. Teddy lived that way and loved that way. Your unselfish love of such a little guy who was left for dead gave him weeks and weeks of quality love. Your story of his demanding his dinner brought that home to me. He definitely had happy days.
Posted by: MarySue | September 28, 2009 at 11:13 PM
Teddy loved his life at the ranch and I hope that brings some peace to you both with this sudden, sudden loss. Very, very traumatic! We are heartbroken for you two.
Posted by: Shirley * James/Portland, OR | September 28, 2009 at 10:53 PM
Dear Steve and Alayne,
The god of dogs was watching out for Teddy and brought him home to you two. It just doesn't get any better than that-he had the absolute best! And then, through the stories and photos that you shared, we all fell in love him too. What a magical little dog... Weren't we all so lucky and blessed to have been touched by him?
There aren't words enough to thank you both for the love, care and kindness that you give.
Colleen and Wes Vermillion
Posted by: Colleen and Wes Vermillion | September 28, 2009 at 10:16 PM
I am so sorry to hear about Teddy. I am sure that in some way he knew he was finally home and safe with you. You are wonderful people to taks such good care of the little ones. God Bless you.
Posted by: Shelley Olson | September 28, 2009 at 10:12 PM
I was just getting ready to vote in the shelter challenge when I saw the news about Teddy. Your loving care of these little (and big) darlings make me wish I could vote a hundred times a day. He is at peace now and I'm sure he knew his last love was with the two of you. Y'all are incredible.
Posted by: Sandy Shubert | September 28, 2009 at 09:21 PM
I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your little Teddy. Thank you for all of the love and care you gave to him.
(((HUGS))) to you both at this sad time.
Posted by: Julie and her 3 doxies, Annie, Lucy and new doxie Brody | September 28, 2009 at 09:12 PM
I'm so sorry. He was such a cute little dog and I always enjoyed reading about him. I'd hoped he would have a longer time to enjoy his new life. In the end it wasn't a bad way to go -- he was happy and loved during his last weeks.
Posted by: eek | September 28, 2009 at 08:45 PM
I'm so very sorry. Teddy had found a place in my heart from the beginning. His last 10 weeks were the happiest of his life. Thank you both for all you do.
Posted by: Jen | September 28, 2009 at 08:13 PM
Your loss is our loss. We have been praying all along. I'm sure he is happy over the bridge playing with all of our friends and waiting for us. Godspeed Teddy.
Posted by: Melissa | September 28, 2009 at 07:42 PM
I am so sorry for your loss,what a brave little man he was.I'm so glad that he had someone to love him and cherish him in his final weeks.I just can't stop crying,what wonderful people you are,god bless you.
Posted by: Karen Mundy | September 28, 2009 at 06:44 PM
Thank you for being there. Poor little guy has to suffer no more. Love to you and your pets.
Posted by: Rita | September 28, 2009 at 06:36 PM
I'm so very sorry to hear about Teddy. I'm so thankful though that he got to experience love and happiness and a warm lap with you guys before his end. Thank you for giving him so much.
Posted by: Kacy | September 28, 2009 at 06:35 PM
I am so sorry. I can hardly type I'm crying so hard for him & for you & Alayne. I fell in love with Teddy the minute I saw his sweet face. It was not fair at all. Bless his sweet angel heart & now he doesn't have to fight anymore while he waits for your lap at Rainbow Bridge. God bless you for what you do! He had a few weeks of bliss being with you all!!
Posted by: Colleen & Sweet Kitty Erin | September 28, 2009 at 06:08 PM
Teddy......you were so very loved in the end. What a great way to transition to the land beyond the rainbow bridge. May you truly rest in peace my little one. The photo of you in today's post said it all about your final journey....you look so handsome and you look like you belong to someone who loved you much.
Posted by: Marla | September 28, 2009 at 05:15 PM
I am so sorry, Teddy will surely be missed.
Posted by: Shauna at WSU | September 28, 2009 at 05:08 PM
How heartbreaking, I was really pulling for this little guy. At least he got to experience a nice warm lap in his last days. Thank you for doing all that you do for these animals.
Posted by: Cheryl | September 28, 2009 at 04:48 PM
What a terrible loss...that you could share his last brave moments with us while you are greiving tells of how wonderful you are. Please know that we have all been captured by his beautiful spirit. I hope the tears many of us spill for you can lighten your burden a little.
He's always in your lap now...
xo
Libby
Posted by: Libby | September 28, 2009 at 04:44 PM
I am truly very sorry for little Teddy. I so connected with him from the beginning and prayed for him. He received love from you guys & that's what go him through everything at the end. You should be proud of yourselves for giving him something he never knew. God Bless You Teddy. I've been crying all day every time I think about that little guy. He was a fighter, for sure. Thank you for what you do for all these animals. You are both one of a kind - Angels here on Earth!
Annette from Colorado
Posted by: Annette | September 28, 2009 at 04:41 PM
We shed more than a few tears in San Francisco today for little Teddy. What a big heart full of love in that little body.
Posted by: Roxie | September 28, 2009 at 04:30 PM
His little heart will forever be blessed for having had his time with you.........I am so sorry
Posted by: Bibi Edwards | September 28, 2009 at 04:21 PM
He had the best 10 weeks of his life you you folks!
Posted by: www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=694183437 | September 28, 2009 at 03:41 PM
My heart goes out to you...I never got to meet Teddy, but after following his progress in the daily posts, I felt like he was one of my own. I think one of the comments said it best...sometimes you give these animals a happy, safe place to live, and sometimes you give them a peaceful, safe place to die. And both are so important. I feel comfort knowing that he was in a safe, happy place he loved, surrounded by people who loved him very much. I am so sorry for you. I'm going to miss little Teddy...what a fighter! And thank you so much for what you guys do!!!!
Posted by: Amy Henson | September 28, 2009 at 02:59 PM
I am heartbroken. Thank you Steve and Alayne for giving this little guy a happy and loving life. He knew total love for his final months on this earth.
Posted by: Pat Silverman | September 28, 2009 at 02:49 PM
I am very sorry for your loss of Teddy's, take comfort knowing that you both did everything possible to make his life full of love, comfort and security in his final days. He was one cute little fella. Bless you both.
Posted by: Brenda - Dartmouth, Nova Scotia, Canada | September 28, 2009 at 02:47 PM
Steve and Alayne: I am sooooo sorry to hear about the loss of Teddy. You two gave him health care, compassion and love to the very end. He was blessed to spend his last days with you both at the ranch.
Posted by: Nina | September 28, 2009 at 02:39 PM
My heart goes out to both of you. I am so sorry for your loss.
Posted by: veronika jones | September 28, 2009 at 02:38 PM
Sometimes you give these disabled, neglected and abused animals a safe, loving place to live. And sometimes you give them a safe, loving place to die.
One is just as important as the other.
Posted by: Lynne | September 28, 2009 at 02:18 PM