When I returned from a trip to Missoula today around 1 p.m., I drove up to the house to find our letter carrier, Jackie, talking with Alayne. Margaret and her go-at sisters were milling around, having come up to greet Jackie and then inspect the packages she had just delivered. The goat girls were alternately chewing on the packing tape or standing on the boxes.
After Jackie left and Alayne and I went into the house for a quick lunch, Margaret stood at the back gate, bleating incessantly at the house. She knew I was inside and she knew I could hear her through the open kitchen window. At this point we were sitting down, eating, while the dining table was circled by dogs (blind Helen the Rottie, blind Callie the Dachshund, blind Goldie, blind Widget and assorted other hangers-on). I got up, went out to open the gate, and let Margaret follow me into the house.
I sat back down at the table to resume eating, confident that Margaret would remain in the kitchen, behind the circle of dogs ringing the table.
The next thing I knew, she had "parted the waters," so to speak, elbowing her way through the mass of dogs and coming right up to my chair. Widget had already occupied one side, woofing and singing for a morsel of my sandwich, so Margaret made herself at home on my other side.
Alayne sighed and then muttered something like, "I can't believe this is happening," and went to get the camera.
Margaret, watching Widget standing up on her hind legs, front paws on my lap, decided this was apparently the appropriate lunchtime behavior to model. Suddenly I had a small goat standing up on her hind legs, resting her front hooves at first on my arm and then on my lap.
I turned to her and said, "Margaret, what are you doing?"
At this point, Widget -- sensing there was some new and unexpected competition at hand -- began an even more determined howling:
Margaret, sensing she was breaking some new ground here, wanted to have her portrait taken for posterity's sake:
Me, I wasn't sure how I managed to get myself in this situation:
As for Alayne ... well, she grumbled as she finished taking these photos, "I just hope people realize we don't let livestock in the house on a regular basis." Margaret wondered what she meant by "livestock," and I wondered what she meant by "regular." (Having been married to an attorney for 14 years, I've learned one can parse the meaning of almost any word indefinitely.)
As for Margaret ... right after Alayne put the camera away and I started in on the last part of my sandwich, Margaret leaped right on top of the table. In a single jump, she went from floor to table. Egads.
Bad, bad girl!!! Margaret was promptly scolded and then gently but firmly escorted from the premises.
Let's hope none of the dogs model that behavior!
----
Two hours later, when UPS showed up, there were two guys in the van -- our regular driver and a new one in training. Margaret went over to greet them and I introduced her to the new guy. After handing me the package, they got back in the van ... and Margaret climbed up the steps and into the cab right behind them. I called her out of the vehicle, but then she turned around and climbed right back in again. She stood there between both UPS guys. All three were looking at me. I finally had to get in and shoo her out, then block the van door so they could pull away without a goat on board. I bet they weren't 20 yards down the drive before the new UPS guy asked our regular driver, "Say, is it always like that at this place?"
How funny! Margaret is starting to adopt dog-like traits. And I'm so glad to see Widget. I haven't seen her on the blog for a while, I missed seeing that crazy little doxie/beagle.
Posted by: Katie | October 31, 2008 at 07:34 PM
LOL!!!! That is TOO much! You've "opened the door" so to speak, lots more tricks in store from Margaret!! What a funny blog Steve, your face is priceless! XXOO to Margaret and the gang! She's got to get her photo on the calender, she'll be hell to live with after that, but she sure is cute
Posted by: Lisa Lashaway | October 31, 2008 at 02:05 PM
Tim, my husband, can understand your love for Margarat, Steve. Suzie is his love, she had pneumonia when she came to us, she got to live in the house for 2 weeks! Tim would tuck her in to bed at night and faithfully get up to check on her during the night.....I don't even get this kind of care when I'm sick!!!!!
Posted by: sabrina | October 31, 2008 at 12:22 AM
I <3 Margaret :)
Posted by: Anna | October 30, 2008 at 11:36 PM
These are THE BEST! I laughed and pulled everyone in my office over to my desk to see these....the funniest blog this year! I heart Widget and Margaret!!! : )
Posted by: Christine Baltazar | October 30, 2008 at 10:44 PM
This was waaaayyyy tooooo funny!
Posted by: Craig from Great Falls | October 30, 2008 at 10:03 PM
Thanks for brightening up my day. I keep going back and rereading the blog and having a good laugh.
I too love the picture of you and Margaret staring straight at the camera. It's a shame you couldn't get one of her standing on the table, but I can imagine that mayhem must have broken out at that point.
Posted by: Mary | October 30, 2008 at 04:57 PM
What a priceless bunch of pics! The straight on pic of you & Margaret looking into the camera is the best! I'd rather see livestock LIVE in the house that on the plate! What fun & thanks Alayne for the great pics of your fun family for those of us that can't be there.
Big hugs to all,
ginger, Tobias & Tlingit
Posted by: ginger | October 30, 2008 at 04:50 PM
OMG!! The expressions on your face Steve are priceless!! I was laughing so hard this morning. I needed that today. Margaret is just one of those goats that loves people!
Posted by: Laura & Levi | October 30, 2008 at 12:57 PM
And don't think we didn't notice that you were eating off of a paper plate! With all those critter bowls to wash and symmetrically stack, no wonder if you'd rather not have to wash human plates too.
I've been missing Widget - glad to see she's up to her usual tricks.
Posted by: Vickie | October 30, 2008 at 12:00 PM
I was having a bad morning until I saw these hilarious pictures - now I really want a goat - although I have a feeling Margaret thinks she's really a dog. At least you don't have boring meals in your house - thanks for the laughs!
Posted by: Katy | October 30, 2008 at 11:04 AM
Well, that seems like the perfect day to me!
Posted by: MariaRose | October 30, 2008 at 10:30 AM
What a great story!
I (HEART) Margaret!
Posted by: Kristi Gross | October 30, 2008 at 10:01 AM
Yes, Mr. UPS driver...it is always like that at the ranch with more entertaining and enchanting antics to be seen every day. Stop on by anytime, you'll see!
You may even find yourself falling in love with a goat named Margaret, it happened to me.
Posted by: Boundforglory | October 30, 2008 at 09:34 AM
What a great story! Thanks for making me laugh with the antics of that funny goat.
Posted by: Maureen | October 30, 2008 at 08:55 AM
Ow my God I think that is the best photo you have ever posted. Widget had better watch out Margaret is moving in on the cuteness.
Posted by: gayle | October 30, 2008 at 08:47 AM
Steve, you've had some weird posts, but this one takes the cake. ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!
PS: Yes, Alayne, we know you don't keep "livestock" in the house. Other than Steve, of course ;-)
Posted by: Heidi & the kitties | October 30, 2008 at 08:10 AM
To second Marla's comment, the photo with you and Margaret looking straight on is priceless. And isn't it funny how animals can mimic what other animals are doing? Your posts normally bring a smile to my face but this one will have me smiling for a while. That Margaret is a cutie. The animals at your ranch are all so fortunate. Enjoy the day.
Posted by: Barbara Ribinski | October 30, 2008 at 07:32 AM
This is classic. Next to--Hm-which ever doxie was the wind meter-this is great. I agree-put the blog into book form. I would be purchasing for several different places. Even my school-sigh-your furkids don't act a whole lot different than my students!
Posted by: jenniew | October 30, 2008 at 07:13 AM
Priceless - the "portrait for posterity" is hilarious. I could not speak for a good while - laughing too much!!
After a morning spent tangled up in bureaucratic red tape, you (and the gang) just made my day - thanx.
Have a good weekend
Posted by: bregda | October 30, 2008 at 05:22 AM
Dear Alayne & Steve, these pictures had me in stitches!! I'd love to meet Margaret, she must be a great one!:-)
Thank you for sharing the good times.
Posted by: Carla Polastro-Nigro | October 30, 2008 at 03:43 AM
Hi Steve, why the long face? There is as much on your plate in the last of the shots as in the first, hehe, so you were on time with shooing Margaret off!! And I don't know if I believe that all this was ONLY going on on your side...I think we might need a picture to prove Alayne wasn't buried in Doxies on her end ;-).
Posted by: Jessica, NL | October 30, 2008 at 03:43 AM
LOL--big time!! This is a GREAT blog and I'm still smiling!!
Posted by: Shirley * James * Portland, OR | October 29, 2008 at 11:38 PM
The photo of Margaret staring straight on at the camera is PRICELESS!
Posted by: Marla | October 29, 2008 at 10:56 PM
A classic post, Steve. I've said it before and I'll say it now: if you can collect your blog postings in book form, I'll buy a bunch to give out as gifts to my friends.
Posted by: Jerry Stemnock | October 29, 2008 at 09:54 PM
LOL LOL!!!
Posted by: Leila | October 29, 2008 at 08:57 PM
Never a dull moment at RDR, that's for sure. Good times are had by all.
Posted by: Sonya Brooks | October 29, 2008 at 08:41 PM
Now, don't go blaming Mragaret for all these afternoon antics. It really isn't her fault, she's just the scapegoat.
Posted by: Moon Rani | October 29, 2008 at 07:30 PM
I just love go-ats! If Montana weren't so far away, I'd steal her, posing as a UPS carrier. What's wrong with a go-at in the house? They are darn smart and creative little creatures. I'm surprised there was anything at all on your plate.
Your expressions are priceless!
Posted by: Janet in Cambridge | October 29, 2008 at 07:02 PM
Never a day goes by that isn't eventful & hilarious at your place! So tomorrow when Widget & the gang are not just singing for you to share your meal but standing on the table singing in unison you can only blame Margaret who I am sure has a few more tricks up her sleeve to share with the rest of the furry friends. Maybe Margaret is thinking about a part-time job & wants to deliver for UPS during their busy season. She was just networking with the delivery guys.
Posted by: Colleen & Sweet Kitty Erin | October 29, 2008 at 06:29 PM
Today's post made my day! Thank you Steve and Alayne; hugs and kisses to everyone!
Posted by: SmokeyWoofs | October 29, 2008 at 05:56 PM