Birdie Died Last Night

This one ... this loss was devastating.

On Friday morning when we went to let the dogs out of Kelly's Cottage, we found some diarrhea and chewed grass thrown up on the floor.  We watched the dogs file out to see who it might be, and quickly realized it was Birdie.

She had a form of muscular dystrophy unique to Labs called centronuclear myopathy, and as a result she walked with a hunched back and short, stiff gait.  Her exterior muscles had atrophied, leaving her thin looking, but she was smart, funny, talkative, and otherwise very healthy.  Birdie was the kind of girl who was always the life of every party.  Indeed, on our visitor weekends, Birdie was convinced that everyone had come from far away just to see her, and she did her best to steal the show.  She greeted visitors when they arrived by sitting up like a seal and making high-pitched seal-like barks to draw people over to her ... and yes, it worked.  I would always tell Birdie:  if you want to look like a seal and sound like a seal, you need to learn to balance a ball on your nose like a seal. 

But on Friday morning, there were no entertaining antics.  She wasn't her usual, happy, bouncy self.  She walked over to a water bowl and started drinking.  And drinking.  Then she got up, walked behind a cottage and tried to poop ... but couldn't.  She repeated this cycle of copious drinking and unsuccessful efforts to poop.

A short while later we loaded her in the truck and I was on my way to our vet clinic in Helena with her.  I took the photo above of Birdie just before taking her into the clinic.  I figured she had some kind of intestinal problem -- perhaps colitis -- and would be back home soon enough.  I had no idea how wrong I would be.

X-rays showed an intestinal blockage, and she needed surgery right away.  Our internal medicine specialist, Dr. Britt Culver, operated on Birdie Friday afternoon.  From "skin-to-skin" -- initial incision to final suture -- Britt had Birdie in and out of surgery in under 45 minutes.  He called to say everything had gone well, and he didn't have to resect, or remove, any part of her intestine.  That speeds up recovery and reduces the risk of complications.

On Saturday morning, our primary care vet, Dr. Brenda Culver -- Britt's wife -- called to say Birdie was doing well and that she was up and walking.  Overnight, Britt had added some support therapy to help strengthen Birdie's heart because of her myopathy.  Any time you have a systemic disease like this, the body is more compromised and thus the risks are higher, hence the precaution.  Brenda said they had Birdie on a bed on the floor of the surgery area, and whenever they talked to her or petted her, Birdie would wag her tail and thump it on the ground.

When we signed off the call Saturday morning, Brenda had said the next time she'd call would be with the 'Sunday morning report' unless anything changed.

Alayne and I had been in bed for a short while Saturday night when the bedside phone rang.  I looked over at the clock and it was 11:08 p.m.  The screen on the phone lit up with the clinic phone number and name.  My heart sank.  I knew something terrible had happened.  I grabbed the phone.

It was Brenda.  Birdie had just died.

I was stunned as I listened to Brenda describe what happened.  She had been making the late-night rounds at the clinic, looking in on all the patients, and was doing a TPR check (temperature, pulse, respiration) on Birdie.  She was listening to Birdie's heart with a stethoscope, and her heart sounded fine.  As she pulled the stethoscope away and was about to stand up, she looked at Birdie and suddenly sensed something wasn't right.  Brenda put the stethoscope back on Birdie's chest, and as she did so, Birdie took a breath and rolled over, dead.  Just like that.  She couldn't revive her.

Brenda said there was no seizure, no vocalization, and no struggle.  It was quiet and peaceful and instantaneous.  Brenda told me she had called Britt, who was at their home, to tell him what had just occurred, and he suspected a blood clot had caused a stroke. 

As Alayne began piecing together what had happened from overhearing my end of the conversation, she started crying, and I couldn't hold it together much longer myself.  I told Brenda I would call her back today after we had a chance to come to grips with the news.

Both Alayne and I were in tears by then, and we got up and walked down to the living room, where we sat for hours, crying and telling Birdie stories and hugging some of our other dogs.  We weren't prepared for this at all.  Birdie was only about 5 years old, and she was right up there with Widget and a few others as among the most-special dogs we've ever had in our lives.  Birdie was the kind of animal who brings you joy every day, who makes you laugh, and for whom a 'day-without-Birdie' isn't a complete day at all.  She was so smart I was convinced she understood every word I said.  I could say, "Birdie, get on the cot," and she would climb right up on it.  She had long ago mastered how to read people and their emotions, and thus how to get people to do her bidding.

In many respects, Birdie was an icon for the ranch -- she's even the centerpiece of the 'Meet the Animals' page on our Web site -- and to lose her was to lose a part of ourselves.

It was a long, sleepless, emotional night.

Britt and Brenda were shocked by what had happened, too.  Britt drove over to the clinic late last night so he and Brenda could do an immediate autopsy on Birdie.  What they found was that the intestinal surgery had held up fine, no sutures had dehissed, and everything was intact.  This supported Britt's view that Birdie most likely had thrown a clot that either caused a stroke in her brain or shut her heart down.  It was also consistent with how quickly and quietly she died. 

Brenda explained to me today that clotting is always a risk during and after operations because the body reacts to surgery -- having tissue cut open and thus bleeding -- by trying to clot and stanch the blood loss.  When a major clot is produced somewhere in the bloodstream and causes a stroke following surgery, it's called a 'thromboembolic accident.'

This morning, Birdie's cottage seemed strangely sad and empty without her.  There was no hunched-over black Lab bounding out the door, grabbing a toy in her mouth to wave in front of one of the Dachshunds -- she was always trying to get some kind of game started first thing in the morning.  There was no Birdie at the breakfast table, trying to get a biscuit from us. (We called her 'Biscuit Birdie' on these occasions and in general, 'Bossy Birdie' because of her talkative, demanding ways.)  With only one dog missing, it was suddenly a very lonely day. 

I think the worst part is simply that we never had a chance to say goodbye to this dog we adored so much.   

So this will have to do.  Goodbye, Birdie.  We will always love you.

Comments

[Peggy Fields]

I am so sorry for your loss. Birdie sounds like she was one of those very special animals that just makes magic happen when you're around them. Losing her so suddenly must be such a shock. If there is any comfort to be had is at least she didn't suffer. Birdie just flew away on her special angel wings. My thoughts are with you all.

[maggie]

Oh no. I don't know how you do it. You must be in such a state of shock and sadness after losing little Birdie. She did seem like the most sweet and amazing girl, so full of life and love and fun. I suppose it is better that she went quickly and suddenly, but she should have had so much longer. I know this is no replacement for actually having her with you, but the love you have for her and she for you is still there and will always be.
As I write this, I am mourning my beloved Beauty and Beast (cats) and Rocky (golden retriever) whose love is still here with me - but that's just not enough when you want their furry bodies and quirky personalities right in front of you.
I'm so sorry. Rest and play in peace, Birdie.

[Vicki Small]

I'm just so sorry. Watching any animal suffer and then die is never easy, but there's no denying that some losses are tougher than others. Especially when you haven't had time to prepare (to the extent that's possible) for them and to say goodbye.

This has truly been a horrible year of losses for you both. It takes a special kind of strength and a more special kind of love and compassion to keep doing what you guys do. God bless you both.

[Margaret]

What you do, rescuing these animals with different ailments and issues, makes these animals lives even more precious. Losing one of them--especially one that brought you so much joy--is so hard. I'm so sorry for your loss. But thank you for making Birdie's life a joy...

[Susan Lentz]

I am just so sad and speechless! Bye Birdie! I am so sorry for your loss especially such a fast and unexpected one! My thoughts are with you!

[Karen]

Oh I was so sad to hear about Birdie. You guys have had a rough time lately. Thanks again for all you do for the animals. Although it makes it harder not being able to say good bye it sounds like she went quickly and peacefully which is a blessing.
God bless you both and all the animals you are caring for.

[Jessica]

Steve and Alayne - I am so very sorry for your loss of Birdie. My heart breaks a little for you each time I read one of these updates. You guys have had a rough year this year...please know that my thoughts and sympathies are with you.

[Nina]

This is very sad news. My heart goes out to both of you. I hope the happy and fun memories of Birdie will bring comfort to you.

[Leighsa]

I'm so sorry about Birdie. Something about that face of hers just grabbed my heart when I saw her and I always looked for her in the photos you post.

You gave her a chance to live a wonderful life that she would never have had without your love for her. Thank you for that.

[Vanessa]

Birdie's story was the first story I ever read on your website.

I don't know how you deal with the constant loss, but thank you for enduring. You give these beautiful creatures love and dignity.

[SuzyQ]

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. My heart goes out to you both.

[Sue H]

I'm so sorry about Birdie. I have no words - just tears. My heart is with you both and Birdie who is now joining the others over the Rainbow Bridge. I am sorry you didn't get to say goodbye, but Birdie loved you and had a wonderful, if short, life with you both. Rest in peace sweet Birdie.

[Jamie]

I am so, so sorry.

[Trace]

some goodbyes are harder than others especially when it seems Birdie left you suddenly and way before her time. at least she had a lifetimes' worth of love with you at the ranch and she left you with many wonderful memories of her. she really does sound like a special girl.
God bless you Birdie and you as well Steve and Alayne for all you do.

[Linda]

Bye bye, Birdie. You will always be loved, sweetheart.

[Sonya Brooks]

Rest in Peace Sweet Birdie. I'm sending my sympathies to you both.
I really don't know how you cope with the losses. God found very special people like you to take care of all those at RDR. God bless everyone and especially all the animals.

[Chandra]

I'm so sorry about your loss to your family. Birdie sounds like an amazing soul....and I was especially touched by the fact that she was a black lab...having grown up with black labs...they hold a special place in my heart. My heart goes out to you both.

[Leah]

We are so sorry to hear about the loss of Birdie and can imagine that you & Alayne are just about devastated. Birdie was an adorable, attention grabbing dog that Mom & I are so glad that we did get to meet. Her loss will be felt deeply by everyone that has been lucky enough to meet her. My heart goes out to you both. Please remember that she could not have the life that she did without you & Alayne and that she loved you both!

[Jerry Stemnock]

In a way, it doesn't matter that you didn't say goodbye to Birdie. A dog who is loved that much carries her people in her heart always, so there are no goodbyes to be said. Birdie was the first to greet me on my first visit. She's always been one of the first dogs I think of the Ranch. She always will be.

[Moon Rani]

Oh, what a heartbreak for both of you! Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. It know it's especially painful for you because you didn't get to say goodbye. Birdie was absolutely my favorite RDR resident, the one who stole my heart immediately. I am so sorry.

[Lynn]

I'm so so sorry. What sad and unexpected news. Was the vet able to identify the source of the blockage? I always worry about this happening to my lab who gobbles everything she eats. May your sadness ease as you recall happy memories of life with Birdie.