Little Oscar Died Today

Of all our losses in recent years, this one hit us the hardest.

I have never known a dog more devoted to a person than Oscar was to Alayne, nor a person more devoted to a dog than she was to Oscar.  And now he's gone.

Alayne's "best little dog buddy ever," as she called him, died this morning.  It was 4 a.m.  Oscar was in his favorite place, doing his favorite thing, which was sleeping in our bed curled up next to Alayne.  That's when his little heart gave out.

I had woken up at 2:20 a.m. for some reason -- very odd for me -- troubled by something but not sure what.  I finally got out of bed and headed to the kitchen to get something to eat, checked email, read a little, and then went back to the bedroom a few minutes before 4 a.m.  I had just settled down and was trying to fall asleep when I suddenly heard quiet sobs coming from Alayne.

I bolted up in bed and asked her what was wrong. 

"Oscar's dead," she cried.  "He just died!"

Alayne had come awake when she heard a tiny burp-like sound from him, reached out to pet him, and realized something was wrong ... he hadn't responded.  As she ran her hand down his body, she could feel the bed was wet underneath him from urine leaking out.  And then came the awful realization that he was lifeless.

She got up, carrying his body in her hands, and walked into the bathroom.  She sat on the floor, cradling him and crying.  I rushed over and wrapped my arms around her.  I led her back to the bedroom, and we both sat on the bed, crying over this deaf, old miniature Dachshund who had come to mean so much to us.

Oscar was already 10 years old when he arrived at the ranch.  He had belonged to a little boy who absolutely doted on Oscar, and Oscar loved the little boy in return.  They did everything together, and Oscar would follow his friend everywhere, never letting him get out of sight.  At night Oscar slept on the little boy's pillow.  The boy and his Dachshund were inseparable.  But the boy's parents were convinced their son was spending too much time with Oscar and not enough with "real" friends, so they decided to take his little dog away and give him to someone else.  They came up with all kinds of reasons why Oscar had to go, but we learned from a relative what the real motivation was ... and the relative was responsible for Oscar coming to the sanctuary. 

The little boy's family had been Oscar's third home thus far in his 10 years, and so when he arrived here he was scared, confused and terribly anxious.  But after hiding for days, he started coming out of his shell, and within a few weeks Oscar had attached himself to Alayne.  He had decided he was going to devote himself to her, just like he had to the little boy.  From that point on Oscar worshipped her. 

Alayne was everything to Oscar.  He would patiently wait by the window to keep an eye on her when she was outside, and then rush to the door, jumping up and down, barking, to greet her when she returned.  Oscar followed her from room to room, always staying by her side.  She had special "Oscar places" stashed around the house so he'd have a place to snuggle and burrow wherever she ended up.  Early on I started calling him "Alayne's minion," as I've posted before.

She always took him in the truck when she went to Missoula or Helena, sharing cheeseburgers on the road with her little Dachshund friend.  He liked going in the truck so much that Alayne would have to take him along when she took the mail out to our postbox, about 1/4 mile away.  Oscar would see Alayne with a stack of mail in her hand and he'd start barking, jumping up and down again, demanding to go for a ride.  Even when the truck wasn't going anywhere, he just loved being in it.

His relationship with me was much more complex.  While he and Alayne adored each other, Oscar wasn't wild about sharing her with me.  At bed time, when I would lean over to kiss Alayne good night, Oscar would invariably rush out from underneath the covers to start licking her on the face.  Then he'd stop, look over at me and growl, and go back to licking her on the face.  It got to the point where I'd have to hold the growling Dachshund back with one hand so I could get a decent kiss.  (I wish I were making this up but I'm not; that's what I had to put up with for the past six years!)  At times I'd finally growl back at him, "She's my wife, buddy, not yours!"

But as much as he thrived on Alayne's adoration, there was a part of Oscar that wanted to be treated like a big, rough-and-tumble dog.  So he loved to roughhouse with me.  At night Alayne usually headed to bed first, and when I made my way to the bedroom, Oscar would be lying on top of the bed, staring in my direction, waiting for me to come through the door.  He'd growl, leap to his feet and then rush to the edge of the bed, barking ferociously at me.  I'd chase him around the bed, then he'd come running at me, snarling and snapping and acting like he wanted to chew my hand off.  (Fortunately in recent years he only had one tooth left.)

To bring the wrestling match to a close, all I'd have to do is bend down to kiss him .. and he'd suddenly stop, reach up with his little head, and start licking me on the face.  Then he'd turn to look at Alayne -- "See, I won that round, didn't I?" -- bark triumphantly, and head over to burrow under the covers next to her.

Only to come roaring back out when I tried to get that goodnight kiss.

This morning, hours after he died, Alayne was still holding Oscar in her arms.  She couldn't let go.  I offered to drive him to our vet clinic in Helena for cremation, but she insisted on taking him herself.  "It's our last ride together," she told me.  Honestly, today I am grieving as much for her as I am for him.

Finally, Alayne mustered up the emotional strength to get in the truck.  We wrapped Oscar in a fleece blanket and I laid him on the passenger seat.  And off they went together, one last time.

Comments

[Nancy Longfield]

Dear Alayne and Steve,
We are so sorry about Oscar and send you our love and prayers.
Nancy and Buddy in New Jersey

[Helen Rietz]

My heart aches for you both. Just two years ago I -- like you, Steve - woke up for unexplained reasons, and found that my beloved elderly cat had just died. Like you two, my husband and I cradled him and cried until morning. How mysterious and how strong are the bonds we form with our beloved animals. Oscar died in peace, in the place he most wanted to be. I deeply hope that with time, peace will come back to you both, and you can remember little Oscar with tenderness and smiles.

[Boundforglory]

Dear Alayne and Steve:

I am SO sorry to hear about Oscar's passing. I hope in time you can find comfort in knowing you gave Oscar the best life and in return he devoted his sweet self to Alayne. Through the tears and grief; those precious times would never want to be missed.
My condolences to you and Steve.
I am so sorry.

[randy jackson]

Our little black mini who looks a lot like Oscar the Great was outside on Osama Patrol when I read this as I do first thing most mornings. I am so sad for you, but so happy for Oscar that he had 6 great years and ended his life guarding his Alayne, right by her side where he wanted to be.

[trisha]

So very sorry for your loss. I cried reading the post for all three of you. I have a little black cat named Keebler Elf who treats me the same - and also does not like sharing bed space with my significant other!! He will get extra cuddles tonight from both of us. Oscar was so fortunate to have found his way to RDR. I'm sure his finally wish was granted by being held by the one he loved the most and who loved him at his passing. You are all in my thoughts.

[Morgan]

The most heartbreaking thing to come to terms with when we let a dog into our lives is that we will most likely outlive them. How lucky both Oscar and Alayne were to have found each other. And how very blessed for you both to have him pass on like that - at the peak of his happiness in his most happy place and on his own. Love lives on.

[karen]

You both just experienced what I know will happen to me someday with my own beloved Polly. She sleeps with me every night and has for every night since she came to me as a 5 week old puppy. My deepest symathyies are with you both. You two are such wonderful people. God bless you both.

[Brenda G]

Thank you for writing what must have been a difficult message. I hope you will find peace and comfort in knowing the loving, wonderful home Oscar had at RDR. If it had to happen, he had the perfect end...right where he loved to be.

[Mary Young]

Dear Steve & Alayne, I can't put in words how sorry I am for your loss of Oscar, I could not beleive it. Alayne, what joy you brougt this little fella, he loved you so much. I pray you will be comforted in knowing that all your friends will be praying for you at this sad time.

[Karen]

OH I am so sorry about Oscar. Tears while writing this. Remember what a wonderful life you gave him for the past 6 years.
How lucky he was and how lucky you guys were to have him. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Karen

[danielle]

It's already been such a rough 2008 for you. I'm so sorry to hear of this latest. It's so good that Alayne was able to help make up for Oscar losing his boy, but that doesn't necessarily make his loss now any easier.

Please take care of yourselves.

[Debbie]

Dear Alayne, recently I lost my little old (blind and physically deformed) yorkie that I rescued about six or sevenyears ago....I had been sitting on the floor in my living room (he was in the soft chair) just talking to him; I knew he wasn't feeling well, and was going to take him to my vet the next morning. I got up to stir a pot of soup and when I came back...he was gone. His little heart just gave out...I took it really hard, almost hysterical actually. Please know you are all in my prayers...and bless you for giving this little fellow the devotion he so very much deserved!

[Janet]

What a beautiful and poignant story about the best little minion there ever was. Devotion, Dachshund is thy name. I almost can't be sad because he had absolutely the best life at RDR--a place where his devotion was appreciated and supported. He finally got his wish.

Alayne and Steve,

I'm sure everyone who knows about RDR has lost a beloved pet--one whose loss is especially unbearable. My deepest, deepest heartfelt condolences on your loss.

Minions (and Dachshunds) RULE!!

[Carolyn Kupferschmid]

Alayne and Steve,
My heart aches for you both over your loss of little Oscar! I know the void will huge, as Oscar has left big shoes to fill. The only consolation is that he lived a long life filled with lots of love and died so very peacefully next to the ones he so dearly loved. He was a lucky dog, and those who knew him were lucky people. May you rest in peace, Oscar. You were truly a gift from God.

[Julie]

I couldn't help but cry when I read about Oscar. He looks so much like my little Toby who is also a mama's boy. Oscar and Toby have a lot in commom as Toby is a rescue who is old and deaf too.

Alayne and Steve, please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers during this very sad time. (((HUGS))) to you both, but especially to Alayne, Oscar's mama.

[LEEZA ALDERSON]

SO VERY SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT OSCAR. THIS HAS BEEN A ROUGH TIME FOR YOU, LOTS OF LOSS. THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVE YOU SHOWER ON YOUR SWEET FURBABIES AND THE WONDERFUL WORK THAT YOU DO.

[Jessica, NL]

So baby, if you wake
and I'll be gone
just carry on
I do believe
it's best to leave
when my life could
not be better...

(altered, and a song I can't remember)

Oh Alayne, that must have been the longest ride ever and it might have over way too soon at the same time. My heart breaks for you honey, take care.
Steve, thank you for your blessed writing, I would not be crying so hard without it.
Hugs for you both...

[Kae]

In floods of tears I read about Oscar who has now gone after years of love with you both.

And funny how it comes around. Today I rescued a little Poodle X girl called Lulu.

She is deaf, and terrified. She has come to Rescued With Love, as the 4th home in her short life.

I see her confusion, fear, and resignation, her sadness in her eyes and I know how it is the day you received the beautiful Oscar.

Alayne and Steve my heart goes to you. I cried today with this girl in my arms that she needs so much love, and no on has been there to provide it.

You provided more than love and a life for Oscar. You gave him time and respect.

Bless you.

Kae Norman
Rescued With Love Inc.
Australia.

[Carla Polastro-Nigro]

Dear Alayne and Steve, I'm crying as I'm typing this... From thousands of miles away, I can feel your sorrow and it just breaks my heart.

I'm crying over your loss, but also over that little boy's parents' cruelty. I can't even imagine how Oscar and his young friend must have suffered when they were separated...

Oscar must be watching over you and his little boy now and waiting to be reunited with all of you one day.

[Lalla and Sasha]

Our thoughts are with you

[ginger & Tobias (the greythound)]

If Oscar could have chosen a place to cross over, I think he was in the exact place he would have wanted to be. I'm extremely sorry for the loss of your special minion, Oscar, Alayne. I send you special hugs of comfort during this sad time. Just know that you gave him the very best & he loved you dearly. He couldn't have been happier.
Special hugs,
ginger, Tobias & Tlingit

[Leila from WA.]

So very sorry for your loss. I understand how it feels and my heart goes out to you both. May God comfort you during your grieving and healing time.

[Lisa]

Such a hard time for you guys - thoughts and prayers from Missouri. So very very sorry for the loss of little Oscar. But glad he had his last days with his true "love" and was happy and well taken care of.

[maggie]

Oh no. Alayne and Steve, my heart bleeds for you, to have to go through yet another tough loss. This time there was little warning, and I don't know if that makes it harder or easier - I actually don't think anything can make it easier, but you loved him and he loved you so very very much. My Beauty passed away a few years ago, also on my bed in the early morning hours. For Oscar to be in his special spot when he went is, truly, special. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your best little doggie buddy.

[Heather]

Steve and Alayne,
I'm so sorry you lost your precious Oscar, but you gave him the BEST six years of his life. And it sounds like that when he passed he was right where he wanted to be. My heart goes out to you. And thank you for everything you do for these wonderful animals.

[Jen]

I am so sorry for your loss. It is a pain I wouldn't wish on anyone. And although so many of us never got to know him, you have brought so much of his special personality to us through this blog. We will all miss him. Now I'm going to go hug my own little aging doxie before the tears start all over again. You and Alayne are in my thoughts.

[Sonya Brooks]

Oh, Alayne, I am so sorry to hear about Oscar. Your year so far has been painful. The little guy was loved and he was where he wanted to be when he passed. I sit with all of mine that pass away too. Keep the good memories of Oscar and believe you two will meet again in heaven. I know you and Steve will go there someday to be with all your kids from RDR.
Steve, I know you will miss little Oscar also. God bless you both. I'm crying while I'm typing this and I didn't even know little Oscar. I can only thank God for all you do at RDR.
God Bless You Both.

[maryr]

A bond like no other-how wonderful that you shared that. May you grieve for your lost friend and find peace in knowing the love you shared. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Many thanks for being such a shining example to us all.

[Shirley & James, Portland, OR]

Dear Alyane and Steve-

What a shock and I feel so sick for you. Oscar only knew love from you and was royalty at RDR. Oscar will always be in your heart. Grief has no time-schedule, so please be well. I’m so very sorry.

[Sarah NZ]

Oh Alayne I am so sorry for the loss of your minion. Take care of her Steve!

[Margaret S]

Steve and Alayne--I was so sorry to read about Oscar's passing. As others have said, you were all so lucky in finding each other and knowing that you enriched his life as he enriched yours. I know he is with the other fur children waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge.

[Mia Sciacca]

I'm so sorry for your loss. All I can say is what wonderful people you are to continue what you're doing for these beautiful animals. I admire the both of you for what you do. I'm sorry for the pain you are going through. You are in my prayers.

[Vicki Small]

Oh, I am so sorry! I cried as I read and couldn't help remembering how hard it's been to let go of our previous dogs...but Spot was hardest. She was already here--had been for years--when Bruce and I met and began dating. One night, she let me know I had arrived...I had been accepted. She was lying next to me as I read the paper, and when her daddy came up on my other side, she turned, laid her head on my knee, and just looked at him. He told me, "Oh, you have arrived!" Her place was always right next to me, if I was sitting on the sofa. We learned to read each other so well....

But this is about your latest and hardest loss. And all I can say is, I'm so sorry. I wish I could say something profound that would lessen the sorrow even a little, but there is no such formula. I'm just sorry....

[amy]

I'm so very sorry for your loss. Oscar looked like such a cutie. I have an Oscar of my own (chihuahua mix rescue)... so my eyes perk up whenever I see that name.

[Heidi & the kitties]

Oh Alayne, I am so, so terribly sorry. Oscar was such a dolly, such a special little one in your life, so close. Having just lost my beloved Thackery last week, I understand your pain all too well. I hope the thought of him going in his own time, in his own place, in the arms of the human he loved so well, will eventually comfort you. In the meantime I wish you strength, love, and kindness to get through these rough times. Please know I will be keeping you in my heart as you grieve.

I know too well, because my bedtime isn't the same anymore either...peace and care to you both.

[Jamie]

Alayne...I am so very sorry. To be loved with such single-minded devotion by anyone (of any species) is so rare in this world. My heart aches for you.

[Lita]

Alayne and Steve, I am so so so sorry to hear about your loss. I've lost 3 of my dear pets in the last 2 years and your post reminds me of them. Oscar was a lucky friend to have spent his last beautiful years with you. Good Bye Oscar.. till we meet again.

[Peggy Fields]

I am so sorry for the loss of your little Oscar.

Having lost my own Lily, I know how painful it can be to live without a treasured animal friend.

Queen Elizabeth once said, "Grief is the price we pay for love."

From reading your words, I can tell how much you both loved him. And also how much Oscar loved you, with all his little heart.

Thank you for giving him a forever home where he got to live surrounded by love.

My thoughts are with you at this difficult time.

[Ashley]

I am so sorry for your loss. I have been reading the blog for a year now and I love all of the stories that you write. I have a 11 year old blind and deaf pug. This makes me relize how much I love her. You all will be in my thoughts this week. I hope Oscar is running free now and knowing that he had two wonderfull people who loved him very much.

[Maxly]

This post was so sad to read. Your losses in the last few weeks have been huge, and today's loss so very painful, just in the reading.

My thoughts and sympathy are for all of you. Hugs, and hugs some more.

Maxly

[Kristen D.]

Oh no, not sweet little Oscar...I'm so very sorry. My heartfelt condolences to you both, especially Alayne. Dear little Oscar, you will be missed.

[Karen]

I'm so sorry for your loss. It will never be easy to lose a furkid. I imagine it's even more difficult when it's your devoted minion. On the bright side (such that it is) - he died in bed, next to his favorite people in the world - happy in the knowledge that he had unconditional love. ...A wonderful gift for a dog who kept getting shipped to new homes.

You'll be in my thoughts this week.

[Sue H]

I can barely see what I'm typing through my tears for little Oscar and Alayne too. What a beautiful story of devotion and love. We have a little Oscar (Poodle/Doxie mix) who only has one tooth...he just sounds so much like your little Oscar. Bless his heart and you both for giving him such a wonderful life at the Ranch. I have always loved the blogs about Alayne's little minion! Hugs to Alayne. I'm sure little Oscar will be missed, especially at bedtime. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Jamie Bloome]

I'm so very sorry for your loss. We lost our lab 'Beeb' of 13 years 2 1/2 years ago. She and I had that same special bond. It took a full year before I would consider looking for another dog. When I finally did, we decided on a senior lab. He's a goofy, grumbly old guy who we've come to love very much. My friends will say "he's so lucky you adopted him" but I'm quick to tell them that we are the lucky ones. I believe that when you have a big loving heart these wonderful animals somehow find you. The two of you must have huge hearts. God Bless

[Jennie Wiseman]

There are no words that make it better--I wish there were. Prayers for you both. You have had a rough couple of weeks.

[Shannon]

Oh, I am so sorry for your loss. I sit here in tears, reading about Oscar and what he and Alayne meant to one another. On the 30th of this month, it will have been one year since my black and tan mini dachshund, Clea died. The pain is just as real today as it was almost a year ago. Especially after reading about Oscar tonight. Run free, sweet Oscar.....

[Priscilla Smith]

Dear Steve & Alayne,
I'm so sorry for your loss. Oscar was very lucky to have spent his last years with the both of you because I know you both have showered him with much love and happiness.
God Bless You,
Priscilla
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Cora]

Alayne....I am so sorry. I have a little one who is just as close to me and growls at my husband too when he gets near me. My little "Remmy" has had quite a life being tossed from one home to another until he came to be with me four years ago at age 6. I love him so much and now that he is 10; I know; like yourself now; it will be so difficult to accept the loss. Reading today's blog makes it more real for me how I will feel which is exactly what you are facing and feeling right now, and so many others who have similar relationships with those very special ones they've come to know. But arn't we so incredibly lucky and fortunate to have these little "minions" come into our lives even for a short time to never having them come at all? And to experience the utlimate love they bring to us? I say...Alayne...we've been pretty damn lucky! I hope this has helped. And as for you little, Mr. Oscar; I have a feeling when you see Alayne again...you will growl at anyway who gets to her before you do! Cora

[Andrew]

Goodbye to your special little friend. :(

[Kylle]

I was so sad & shocked to hear about Oscar. Alayne-my heart goes out to you. I hope you can find comfort in knowing he was right where he loved to be best; with you, in a soft warm bed.