Heartbreak

It was a happy ending that wasn't.  In fact, it ended tragically.

That's Luke in the photo, a blind hound in a rural Virginia animal control shelter.  The day he started his journey to a new life here in Montana turned out to be his last day.  It really doesn't get worse than this.

A week ago today, I received an email from Tina R., a shelter employee.  Tina wrote:

I was told to contact you to see if you can help a blind hound we have at our shelter in Berryville, Va. I see you are in Montana so I don't know if this is possible. But maybe you have other contacts closer to us. Luke came in as a stray. He had a head injury. The vet thinks someone hit him. He is currently blind. He is on Prednisone but it is not helping so far. The vet said he is probably going to stay blind. I attached a picture of him. Please let me know if you can help him in any way.

After a couple of phone calls and emails with Tina, we had our vet in Helena, Dr. Brenda Culver, talk with the shelter's vet about his diagnosis.  We wanted to have a better idea of what to expect.  He told Brenda that the dog had come in with a very swollen head but no other signs of injury ... no broken bones, no blood.  The only other visible sign was blindness.  He assumed that the dog had suffered trauma of some sort, either at the hands of a person or was hit by a car.  With a very limited budget from the shelter, he was only able to give Luke an injection of a powerful steroid to reduce the swelling, and he prescribed continued prednisone therapy.  The swelling disappeared, Luke went back to the shelter, and that's when Tina contacted us. 

Still, we were puzzled, as was Brenda, by this scenario and the impact on Luke's vision.  It just seemed odd that a dog could sustain enough trauma to produce that kind of swelling and lose his vision, but not have any other cranial nerve or other symptoms resulting from the impact.  The shelter's vet said he had never seen anything like it in his 25 years of practice.  Brenda called our veterinary ophthalmologist in Spokane, Washington, to discuss Luke's case, and the eye specialist said he hadn't encountered anything quite like that before either.

We agreed to take Luke, and I set about last week trying to figure out how we would get him from northern Virginia to Montana.  We needed someone who could pick him up from the shelter, take him to a vet for a medical exam and health certificate for travel, purchase an airline crate, board him for a few days, and then get him to the airport to catch his flight.  I contacted one of our wonderful supporters in the Washington, D.C., area, Becca K., and asked if she could help.  Becca has two disabled dogs of her own.

Becca graciously offered to help, and yesterday morning she and her sister drove out to the shelter to get Luke.  She had already made an appointment to take Luke to her vet on Saturday afternoon, and in the meantime I had made a reservation for Luke at a doggie daycare and boarding facility near Dulles airport that Becca had recommended.

Alayne and I were just sitting down to lunch yesterday afternoon when the phone rang.  It was Becca, calling with a report on what her vet had found out about his eyes and how he was doing.  She said, "You've got a very sweet Foxhound coming to you!"  Becca said he was friendly, energetic, and bayed like a true hound.  He had done well on the car ride from the shelter to the vet clinic, about a 45 minute trip.  She said he was a really nice boy.  Becca said that on a leash, Luke seemed to walk into everything, but when they took the leash off in the exam room, he managed to navigate around without running into much.  This despite the fact that he had no pupillary light reflex, or PLR, and no menace (or blink) reflex.  Becca's vet also thought Luke had suffered head trauma, but was perplexed by the absence of other symptoms.

The vet clinic was located in a PetsMart, so after the exam Becca was going out to purchase his crate and then call us with the dimensions, which we needed to know to make flight reservations.  We hung up, and I filled Alayne in on the conversation.

Just 15 minutes later the phone rang.  It was Becca again.  I could tell right away her voice was anguished.  She said, "We've had a serious turn for the worse, Steve."  I said, "What do you mean?"  I was incredulous, then sick to my stomach, as she told me what happened.

After getting off the phone with me earlier, Becca said Luke had started mouthing the coat she was wearing.  Then he began snapping at it.  As Becca tried to brush him off and tell him to stop, Luke began biting her coat furiously, ripping at it.  He was oblivious to her efforts to get him to stop, and getting more aggressive by the second.  When Becca started pushing him off, Luke growled and then lunged at her, biting her in the chest.  Becca's sister rushed over to pull him off, and Luke whirled around and bit her, too.  Becca's vet stepped in and Luke bit her, too. 

In fact, the vet told me later, Luke was biting "anything in front of him ... clothing, people, furniture.  It was uncontrollable.  I finally threw a towel at him, and he shredded the towel in seconds."   He attacked everything in the room.

And then it was over, just as quickly as it had started.  Whatever had possessed him was suddenly gone.  Becca's vet carefully led Luke down the hall and into a kennel.  Fortunately none of the three people Luke attacked suffered serious injuries.

Becca told me it was so frightening because they couldn't get him to stop, and he seemed to be in a "zone" where he was unreachable.  She said it wasn't the same dog.  Becca was in shock, as was I, listening to her describe what unfolded in the exam room.   

The vet told me it was almost as if it were a seizure activity of some sort.  "But," she said, "I've been practicing veterinary medicine for a very long time and I've got to tell you, I've never seen this before in my career.   I can't explain it.  Clearly it's neurological, but what ... well, I have no idea.  This is, I'm sorry to tell you, a dangerous dog."  She didn't think it was rabies because Luke had been at the shelter long enough that other signs would have appeared before now.  He also didn't show any of the other symptoms of a rabid dog. 

Becca and I stayed on the phone, replaying what had happened and trying to figure out what we could do.  We were in disbelief.  A day that had started out with such joy and promise was ending in tragedy.  As we worked through what we couldn't do -- put anyone else at risk, take him to the boarding facility, let alone put him on an airplane -- we were left with the only thing we could do ... and that was to put Luke to sleep at the clinic.

As we reached that decision, Becca and I both started crying.  I could not believe we were going to euthanize a dog we had never known ... and a dog who was just about to get a second chance at life with us in Montana.  And yet Luke was now our responsibility.  He was our dog, and it was up to us.  Here we were, making that awful decision and grieving for a dog we'd never met.  It really was one of the worst moments in my life.  Having just put our beloved old Dillon to sleep a week ago, I sure wasn't ready to make that decision again so soon.   

I had asked the vet if she thought we had any option other than euthanasia.  She said, "I wish I did, but I think the best place for this dog is heaven."

We wondered whether Luke was beaten over the head because he had done this before, or whether this "aggression seizure" was a result of the trauma and thus neurological damage.  There is something called "Canine Rage Syndrome" -- or more accurately, "idiopathic aggression" -- described in the literature, and maybe this was it.  But we'll never know.

Becca and I talked through it some more, hoping to find some other answer, but it was clear what we needed to do.  I asked Becca to tell her vet what we decided, and to please proceed.  We both hung up the phone in tears.  I just couldn't believe the first day of Luke's new life was also his last.

Alayne had come into my office after hearing my end of the conversations with Becca and the vet.  She was horrified when I told her what had occurred.  I called the shelter and left a voicemail message asking them to call me.  A short while later Tina called, and I told her what had happened.  She had the same reaction we did, which was complete shock.  Tina said they had never seen Luke do anything like that, and if they had, they obviously would never had asked us or anyone else to take him.  She said the entire shelter staff had been so happy Saturday morning, knowing Luke was going off to Montana to live with us.  I thanked Tina for contacting us in the first place, and assured her that we knew Luke hadn't shown this kind of behavior before or they wouldn't have contacted us.  I told her how sorry we were -- for Luke, for them, for Becca and us.  I asked Tina to let us know the next time they took in a blind dog and couldn't adopt it out, because we would certainly help if we could.

Not too long afterwards, Becca called again from the vet clinic to say Luke was gone.  She said, "He's in a better place now."

And that's how Saturday ended.  With a lot of broken hearts across the country, for a dog we couldn't save after all.

Comments

[Mary Young]

God Bless your hearts, you still helped Luke's life very very much, I am so sorry it ended in a way we don't understand. Everyone involved did their best to help the little fella. God Bless You for all your efforts to help all of these disabled animals.

[Morgan Skilling]

God what a difficult call, especially because there really was no time to find out the "why" of that head injury (or whatever was going on). I've made that tough decision myself in much less clear cut situations and it sucks all around. You did the right thing. Everyone who touched that dog and saw the possibilities of a better life for him made his life that much better, even if the contact was for 30 seconds. And at the end of the day that is always enough. I too would be interested in the results if there's a necropsy.

[Boundforglory]

This is tragic and so complicated to know what exactly brought Luke to the highth of agression that he went to. We're so sorry he never made it to the ranch
Thank you to all the volunteers who tried to get him home; we hope you're healing well and can be available to help RDR again.

[Heidi & the kitties]

I am just speechless, I don't know how to express how deeply I hurt for you, Alayne, and all those involved in this hearbreaking journey. The loss of hope is devastating. I wish all of you peace in your hearts to help you with the grief of this terrible loss. But please know, you DID give him hope even just for a little while, and sent him to be at peace with a new uncle named Dillon. Luke is in good paws.

[Sonya Brooks]

I'm so sorry that Luke never made it to RDR. I know your decision was hard, but it was for the best. Someone could have been critically hurt or some of the animals at the ranch could have been if Luke had made it there and had one of those awful attacks. We always ask ourselves, Why? Only God knows why! God bless everyone involved in this rescue effort even though it turned out to be heartbreaking. Old Dillon will take care of young Luke, you can count on it.

[Jen]

What a heartbreaking story... but at least he is in a better place now. Reading these sad posts.. I don't know how you do it. What you do is nothing short of amazing in my eyes...

And to all those who were a part of Luke's mission to come to Montana... I'm sorry it didn't work out. You all had Luke's best interests at heart....

RIP Luke, you adorable foxhound.

[The Smiley Faces]

To all who worked so hard to give Luke the life he deserved , we are so sorry. The world is a better place because there are people like you who do all you can and hurt so much when you find you can do no more. We are truly awed and inspired by you.

Love to you sweet Luke.

[Rebecca M.]

God, how heartbreaking. I firmly believe you did make a difference in his life, though. If this sudden, uncontrollable aggression had manifested in the shelter, or at the sanctuary, things could have been so much worse.

Rest in peace, sweet boy.

[Kristi Gross]

Alayne and Steve,
I'm so sorry that you've had another big loss this week. As hard as your decisions was, please know that you did the right thing and that dear Luke is happy in Heaven now.

[Lisa]

God bless everyone involved with Luke. How awful to be so excited about bringing him home and then something completely out of the blue like this happens. Good thoughts and prayers to all and I know Luke is at the bridge playing and running free.

[Andrew]

Steve, I know this may very well be to late to ask, but please have Lukes final resting place be at the Ranch if possible.
I don't know how to describe it but to me it just feels like the right thing to do. :(

[Miranda]

How awful for you and Luke! Being thousands of miles away must have left you feeling totally frustrated having to rely upon others to reach your decision. Talk about having no control and yet having the responsibility! I know you did what you had to do. On the QT, I'm not sure I like the vets at PetsMart. I volunteer with Happy Tails rescue and we use the adoption center for our cats all week and have adoptions on the weekend. We do not suggest adopters use Banfield vets inhouse nor do we have our cats seen by them as they've diagnosed incorrectly in the past. However, I'm sure that must vary store to store. Big hugs to you for having the strength to make such decisions. It's NEVER easy.

[Becca]

My heart goes out to you and Alayne, Steve. To lose Dillon earlier this week and then have this happen it has to be heartbreaking.

Thank you for your kind words. I didn't think I had any tears left until I read your post. Thanks also to the thoughtful people who posted supportive comments. I was so happy when you contacted me about helping Luke. You and Alayne do so much for so many; I was excited to be a part of helping one dog make it to the Ranch. I wish with all my heart that things had turned out differently for him and for you.

Luke was a sweet beautiful boy. I will never forget the few hours that I got to spend with him. He loved to have his back and his ears scratched and would stand perfectly still when I held him and gave him a belly rub. I will never understand why bad things have to happen to loving animals like Luke. I am just thankful there are angels like you and Alayne to take care of the lucky ones who find their way to you.

Rest in Peace, sweet Luke.

[Jenn]

I work at the shelter and have spent a lot of time trying to figure Luke out.

I am so upset this happened. It breaks my heart. Just the day before, I went in his kennel before I left and hugged him and told him he would finally be safe and happy.

I am so sorry that people were hurt . I just could never imagine him like that .
He was scared and confused , but just never mean .

Please let us know if you get any further answers from the necropsy.

I also thank everyone involved for what they did and were willing to do to help this boy.

I hope Luke is running free at Rainbows Bridge .

Jenn

[Moon Rani]

I send all my sympathies to everyone involved in this. Although the ending is such a heartbreaker, I am glad Luke was put down humanely. I dread to imagine what would have happened to him if he were out in the world and did this.

[ColleenaMareena]

Wow, this is just so terrible. The only good I can see of the situation is at least it happened in the vet clinic, instead of right outside the door in the petstore, where there might have been children or others who could have accidentally been injured. As always, I am so impressed with the level of care you give all of your animals--there were 4 or 5 vets working on this dog before you had ever even seen him! Hopefully there can be some sort of answer, and hopefully it isn't the R word, like the vet was saying.

Poor sweet dog. I'm so glad that he was in the hands of people who cared for him, and grieved for his affliction, instead of people who were angry or mean to him for his uncontrollable outburst. The situation must have been terrible for him, too. What an awful decision to have to make. We all know it was made with love, and truly with Luke's own best interests in mind.

[DT]

I am so sorry for all that has happened.Will Rabies be ruled out completely? Could it be that his illness slowed down the Rabies symptoms? Sorry if these sound like stupid questions!

[Sanson]

I'm so sorry all of you had to endure that. You absolutely did the right, & really only, thing that could be done. Just as a general rule, I applaud your courage to think of the animals & do what's right for them, regardless of your own feelings & needs.

While I cry for Luke, Dillon, & all the animals who leave us, I can't help but be happy that 1) they are in a MUCH better place and 2) that there were people who cared enough to help them. As a rescuer myself, I see the bad people outnumbering the caring people about 1000 to 1--so the caring people are true gems.

I'm so sorry for the injuries to Becca, her sister, & her vet. Luke's sudden aggression must have been horrifying for them.

Is it too late for a necropsy to be performed? Since Luke's entire condition was so mysterious, perhaps his tragic death could be an educational experience for the shelter vet, Becca's vet, you guys, and us blog readers. Then maybe his legacy could be helping another dog in the future.

Bless you all.

[Sue]

I have no words...just sorrow and caring thoughts for you and all who tried to help little Luke, and of course for Luke. What a painful thing to go through, but you all made the right and necessary decision - he's resting safe now with Dillon and all the others. Hugs to you.

[Margaret]

Our hearts are breaking with you all, too. If only Luke could tell us his whole story... I suspect knowing he was finally in caring hands was the best part and now he's caring for you from heaven.

Thank you all and our highest admiration for your actions.

[Laura]

I have tears in my eyes as well...shows you are in deed a good writer!! We are feeling what you are feeling! He is indeed in a better place...oh what could have been.

[Lynn]

Your willingness to make a difference for Luke is what matters. While making that choice was and never is an easy one, there
are worse things than deciding to let those that we care for go. You were thinking of what was best for Luke as well as all the others that
you care for. Don't be hard on yourselves, Dillion and all the others are frolicking with him now and enjoying a life without pain and suffering.

[Janet]

RIP, sweet Luke. It's hard enough when you know what happened, it's even harder when you don't. Know that you were loved, sweet boy.

[Helen Rietz]

I am so sorry. Steve, you wrote recently about how grief always comes with the loss of an animal, whether you've known that animal for years or for just a short time. I guess this is the ultimate proof. You, and everyone connected with Luke, are grieving for the new life he didn't have, even briefly. But, once again, let me remind you that you at least gave him a peaceful death. And that, for Luke, is a blessing.

[Debbie]

What a sad decision to have to make on such short notice. I know that in humans a brain injury can often trigger aggressiveness...poor puppy. I guess the deck wasn't stacked in his favor. Thanks to all of you who tried to help him.

[Michelle]

I am a volunteer at the shelter where Luke was. He was such a beautiful dog, and although I only got to see him once, he was sweet and friendly and happily wagged his tail at my voice as I said "hello" to him. This is so heartbreaking, how apt the title of this story is. Tina was excited when Luke was to come to your facility, she e-mailed me about how beautiful your ranch looked. Thank you so much for trying to help him, which of course, you ultimately did by putting him at peace. How confused he must have been during his "rage". I'm not a vet, but I am a psychologist, and when humans get head injuries, such rage outbursts are often seen. Perhaps this is what happened with Luke. I guess we'll never know, until maybe someday we can meet him at the bridge and he can tell us all his tale, without pain and heartbreak.

[G in INdiana]

My deepest empathies for all of you. We had our GSD do the same thing and we'd had her for over 6 years. It was heartbreaking but we had a young child who adored the dog and we knew that some day, something like this would happen again and she could be in danger.
Sometimes even the best of efforts is futile. You, the shelter, and vets did all you could do. It just was not meant to be.

[Valda]

Oh how sad! I'm so sorry. He is a beautiful dog.

[Jessica, NL]

Oh my...read the biggest part of the post in tears and I'm so sorry for all! The only good thing I can think of is that he was still at the right place to be helped and not on the plane or in the daycare, but still.
He has felt the thrill of the new start...that's something too.

[Carla Polastro-Nigro]

Dear Steve & Alayne, my heart goes out to you, to Becca and her sister, to Tina and her co-workers at the northern Virginia shelter Luke came from and to the vet who had to put him to sleep.

I'm sure Luke IS in heaven now and will never know pain, or fear, or hunger ever again, but only God's peace and love.

Thank you for trying to give him a second chance and now grieve for him, even though you never actually met him.

[Amy]

I feel so sad and defeated because of a dog I didn't even know existed an hour ago. Your decision was the best one, of course, but we'll always wonder what made this gentle-by-nature hound attack the way he did. Will there be an autopsy since this was so violent and unexpected?
As always, my thoughts are with you & Alayne and too with the kind people who tried to make Luke's future a happy one.

[Kae]

Dear Steve and Alayne,
Having done dog rescue for a few years now, I too, have gone down the same path and it was hideous. Despite being the best possible option for everyone, it is non the less, distressing to say the least.

I know of one foster carer who had a dog that did similar things, he would snap in the air at night on her bed. Tragically he bit her face and then she knew she would never be safe and she too went though the awful guilt and grief that you are suffering.

I am so so sorry. But I take hope that you will help another dog, when there are so many in need, and they will have a rewarding and wonderful life with you.

Whatever head or brain injury Luke sustained, it made him unpredictable and possibly a danger to all. And you would never have forgiven yourself if something happened that you could have prevented.

RIP Luke. No more pain now. And my thoughts are with you at RDR, and all those that you have saved, and do love, when others had given up on them.

Kae Norman
Rescued With Love Inc.
Australia.
www.rescuedwithlove.org

[Shirley & James, Portland, OR]

I'm speechless and so very sad. Poor Luke and all involved. Becca, RDR and Tina thank you for doing your best to give Luke a second chance. Heartbreak is right.

[Sandy]

Was an autopsy done, in an effort to rule in or out causes for the aggressive behavior and/or the blindness?

[Jason]

That is completely heartbreaking in every way...I am sorry you folks have had a tough week...

[Taylors on Olympic Peninsula in WA state]

Oh, you poor dears, Having to make so sad a descsion in such a short time. Thank you for being so brave and doing what was possibly the best for Luke. Sounds like he had some very serious,serious problems. Hope this next week is much better than the last couple have been. Take care

[maggie]

oh no. i am so sorry. i feel absolutely terrible, and my heart goes out to you all.
we try to fix things and to create the happy endings and sometimes it just doesnt happen. i wish with all my heart that things could have been different for luke.

[Nina]

How sad for all who tried desperately to give Luke a second chance. My heart breaks for Luke as well.

[Robin]

I have a foxhound named Luke so that really made me sad. Poor dog.

[amy]

There are no words. I am so sorry.

[LuAnn]

Oh how sad is that. Poor Luke, and EVERYONE in involved, my heart goes out to you all. Gosh, what else can I say.....I'm so sorry.....LuAnn